MLB to Install Metal Detectors at All Ballparks for 2014

There’s been little doubt that Bud Selig has been the worst commissioner in major league history, but just in case any of that doubt remained it now vanishes once and for all. Baseball’s nationally televised games are already all but unwatchable, the playoff system is far too long and convoluted, the free agent market is a shitshow year in and year out with few teams getting much better and a few choice players collecting horrifyingly large and unsustainable paydays, steroids and HGH are still a part of the game and 50-100 game suspensions are not working and instant replay, no matter how quick it is, is going to be a fiasco.

And as if all that didn’t detract enough from the game, the league is now going to be training ushers in every stadium to stick a metal detecting wand up fans’ asses. According to an AP report from Friday, “Major League Baseball security director John Skinner said on Friday that all 30 teams are expected to screen all fans entering their ballparks next season. Some aspects of the screening will be left to individual teams, but the commissioner’s office is planning to recommend walk-through metal detectors, he said.”

Soon a trip to the ballpark will feel more like a walk through the airport.

Soon a trip to the ballpark will feel more like a walk through the airport.

Granted, the report doesn’t say anything about wands, but when’s the last time you saw a walk-through detector not used in conjunction with wands? It’s not a far stretch to think that MLB might adopt a ridiculous no-purses-or-pocketbooks policy such as the NFL enforces.

Perhaps facial recognition isn’t far behind either. And it could be that once they recognize your face coming into the park they start emailing you shitty coupons for hotdogs and souvenirs.

Make no mistake, this shift in policy was a direct result of the Boston Marathon bombing, and the article points out that Skinner made his comments while serving on a panel with the executive director of the organization that runs the marathon. To say that it’s an overreaction is to put it very, very mildly.

It’s bad enough that the league takes advantage of fans with so-called ‘prime’ and ‘premium’ games, charges fees on top of fees for everything from same-day sales to internet sales to will call to resale. Forcing people to empty their pockets and submit to bodily searches by low-wage unskilled gate staff is demeaning and degrading. And it won’t improve security a lick because ballparks are already quite safe environments with no need to improve.

The direct result of this change will be the Chop going to fewer baseball games. Far fewer. We’re seriously considering whether or not to renew our season tickets. We’ve always thought of Oriole Park as almost a second home, and to be treated as a suspected terrorist every time we walk through the gate is an anathema to which we can’t object strenuously enough.

Hop Along @ MICA Tonight

When we were in Nashville this Summer, poking around in all the shrines to country music we noticed a funny little phrase that kept popping up on plaques and descriptions over and over again: “old time family band.” Which is what it sounds like- you have a bunch of kids and teach each one a different instrument. The phrase doesn’t ring right in our ear because it’s something that doesn’t really exist in rock and roll. Sure, every once in a while you get a White Stripes or whatever, but by and large from the Beatles onward the thing has been to start bands with your friends from school or finding people in the neighborhood who play. Then there’s that famous story about Kiss being formed on the strength of a classified ad.

So Hop Along is something of an anomaly in indie rock: an old time family band. Singer, guitarist and MICA alumna Frances Quinlan has played both alone and with a second brother, but it’s with sibling Mark Quinlan and (unrelated) bandmate Tyler Long that she’s really been able to come into her own.

Personally, we’ve been following Hop Along for quite a few years now. We mentioned them in one of our earliest posts in 2010, and have been making a point to catch them since their first trip to the Charm City Art Space when they were known as Hop Along, Queen Ansleis. So we’re pretty comfortable in saying that for a band like Hop Along practice really does make perfect. Much like a young, out-of-state nephew this is a band that appears noticeably more mature and more polished each time they visit Baltimore.

One of the biggest milestones in every artist’s progression is the release of their first full length LP. There are some lucky bands seem to fall out of the sky fully formed and release a great record after just a few months. But for every Bad Brains and Minor Threat out there who strikes gold at 19, there are hundreds of thousands of acts that spend years writing songs, rewriting songs, trashing those songs and then writing more songs, going through lineup changes, investing in equipment, selling equipment, experimenting with new equipment, and doing the hundred other things that make it really incredibly difficult to form a successful band and make a great record.

Hop Along’s 10 track debut Get Disowned is a great record. Recorded over the course of two full years by Joe Reinhart (of Algernon Cadwallader fame) Get Disowned is the kind of record that, once completed, doesn’t matter how long it took to get to or record. However long it took it was worth the wait.

After all, it takes time to craft something as distinct as Get Disowned. There are moments in this record that may remind you of something you’ve heard somewhere, but on the whole Hop Along resists direct comparison to other bands, both past and present. It’s not an easy feat to take all your influences, live with them, learn from them, and ultimately ignore them and produce something that sounds entirely unique and modern, but with their debut that’s just what Hop Along has done.

And there are a few things on this album that we did find to be unique. From top to bottom Get Disowned seems to achieve maximum effect with minimal tools. There are no small songs here, nothing you’d sing in the shower or ever confuse for background music. The sound is much bigger than one might expect from a three piece, and the songs are all arranged in such a way that the most important sounds are the loudest. That may sound like a very obvious thing to say, but the most important sounds here often vary not just from song to song but from bar to bar.

Throughout the record though, the most important and unique sound is Frances Quinlan’s singing voice which by turns might remind a listener of both the manic emotion of Bjork and the polished and measured tones of Regina Spektor. Quinlan seems happy to reside in the space between the two, as if she’s singing with the secret knowledge that she could easily go far as a contestant on The Voice, but that the kind of singing The Voice demands is so sterile and vapid that it defeats the point of singing in the first place.

By extension, that’s the approach the whole band right along with Reinhart seems to adopt. Placed in the hands of another producer Get Disowned might have turned out very differently. If something’s slightly out of tune here, it’s done on purpose. If Quinlan’s voice breaks a little no second take is necessary. The full stops and pauses which occur throughout and allow her singing to come through completely unfiltered are a very conscious and very well-executed decision. Altogether this is an album that could have been as overproduced and insincere as an Arcade Fire release, but in the end chooses to be exactly what it is: an outstanding indie rock record that is worth playing on repeat.

Hop Along plays tonight at MICA’s BBOX theater in the Gateway Building (corner of Mount Royal and North Ave) in a benefit for Power Inside, an “organization that serves women and girls who are survivors of gender-based violence.”

The Gateway is a residential building and the show listing reads ‘8-10’ pm, so it’s probably a good idea to show up on time to see Flashlight O and another band for whom practice makes perfect, Us and Us Only. The suggested donation for non-MICA students is a ridiculously cheap $5, and the door will also be collecting care-package type items for Power Inside- things like clothing and personal care products.

Bill Ayers @ Red Emma’s Tonight

First things first: the new location of Red Emma’s is finally open at the corner of North ave and Maryland in Station North. You may recall that we posted some photos of the construction progress a while back. The new shop opened for good about a week and a half ago with not too much fanfare and is now keeping regular hours with a widely expanded vegan menu.

The shop alone is worth checking out on its own merits any day of the week, but tonight at 7:30 is a particularly good time to pop in when activist, professor and author Bill Ayers makes a book tour appearance with his latest work Public Enemy, Confessions of an American Dissident.

red emmas bw

Ayers featured prominently in the news in 2008 when the McCain campaign and right wing echo chamber seized on his past association with radical anti-war group the Weather Underground and Sarah Palin famously accused Barack Obama of ‘pallin’ around with terrorists.’

Of course, there’s more to Ayers’ life than what he did in the late 60’s and early 70’s. Much more. This lengthy feature from the Chicago Reader is a nice primer. No matter what you may think of his politics, you would be hard pressed to deny that Ayers has led a damned interesting life.

By way of a very small example, just take these lines from a recent Chicago Tribune article about Ayers’ new book:

Hells Angels fill the first row of a lecture to intimidate Ayers, the gang ends up debating the government’s ills with Ayers and colleagues all night at a Chinese restaurant.

His rich life has him hosting a dinner party for right-wing pundits one day and squatting with Greek anarchists another.

We like to think our own life is interesting enough, but it certainly doesn’t involve political debates with bikers and dabbling in Athens squatter culture. Spending an hour or two listening to Bill Ayers talk tonight will be worth about ten thousand crummy magazine profiles of vapid celebrities like Bradley Cooper, and the chance to shake his hand and cop a signed copy of his memoir is worth all the Dos Equis commercials under the sun.

The Chop Approves of Fox River Gloves

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It’s no secret that the Chop is a big fan of woolen garments. We’re practically one quarter sheep on our mother’s side. Jackets, overcoats, even chunky socks; we wear it all, all Winter long.

Strangely though we’ve never been much on gloves. We’re they type whose prone to leave one glove behind when we go out, so for the longest time we were in the habit of just jamming our hands in our pockets and leaving them there. Any warmth a glove provided was always offset by the need to take it off to play with our phone or fiddle with out keys or whatever.

gloves

But then we started bicycling everywhere. When you’re barreling down Falls road at 20 mph and the first thing exposed to the January wind is the backs of your hands you learn your lesson quickly and you go buy yourself some gloves.

For us that meant popping into Sixteen Tons on the Avenue in Hampden and picking up a pair of these fingerless ragg wool gloves from Fox River. Not pictured is the beaded grip attached to the palm which makes them an excellent choice for cycling, allowing us to both keep a steady grip on the bars as well as get a fine and secure feel for the brake levers.

But we soon found we were wearing them just as often off the bike. Despite being fingerless they’re plenty warm, and because they’re fingerless they allow us to slip our hands in and out of pockets easily and play with our phone at will.

Best of all, for some $15 gloves that took a fair amount of abuse last Winter our pair has held up remarkably well. Having dusted them off recently they’re ready for another season of wear, and go well with everything from our best suit to our most ragged jacket.

A word to the wise: Sixteen Tons recently re-stocked these gloves for 2013 in both fingerless and fingered varieties. If you need a pair of gloves you can’t do much better than this, and if you need a great sub-$20 gift for any man in your life these gloves will make an outstanding selection.

Fifth Annual Mobbies Awards @ Creative Alliance Tonight

So the Mobbies bash is tonight from 6:30-8:30. You should go. Even if you don’t have a blog or anything. You’re obviously reading this so you clearly have at least a basic working knowledge of blogs and Baltimore City, and that’s enough. Besides, you’re probably on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit or some combination of those. At least one, right? Well this is a good chance to meet some people from there and drink beer with them. And score a free sushi/Japanese dinner.

We already wrote up a fairly long post about the current state of Blogging in general and Baltimore especially, so we’re not going to repeat anything today. You can check it out at this link.

What we will do is take this opportunity to say thanks to the Sun for running the contest again this year and good luck to the staffers there for whom this is ‘their first rodeo’ so to speak.

Of course, the Sun’s purview only involves managing the contest and planning the party, so there’s been no mention on Facebook or Twitter or anywhere we’ve seen about an after party. Not sure about you but a two hour event with 30 minutes or so given over to awards does not constitute a full night of drinking for the Chop. Not even on a Tuesday.

So we’re just going to throw it out there that there ought to at least be an unofficial designated bar nearby. Our vote goes to ‘Irish Pub’ which is on Clinton just above Eastern, right behind Haussner’s. Other good choices are the Laughing Pint, Baltimore Taphouse and of course, Bad Decisions.

One thing’s certain though- wherever the night may take us we’re very likely to end up sauced on Jameson and watching Dog With a Blog on On Demand. Hands Down new favorite show. Stan is a dog! He has a blog! And he writes in it on every episode just like Doogie Howser M.D. used to. He’s also high-strung and precocious like Mr. Ed was. Oh yeah and he talks, duh. But the parents don’t know that. He only talks to the kids.

It doesn’t matter who wins or loses tonight. The real winners are Avery, Tyler and Chloe.

(feature image via Disney)