Baltimore Bike Party Halloween Brew-Ha-Ha Tonight

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It’s been a while since we did the whole Bike Party thing. We tried to do it back in June and while we made it to the Block Party, we decided that 110° was just too damn hot for recreational riding.

Then we thought about doing it again in July when there was a coordinated ride timed to end at the Flicks From the Hill showing of Breaking Away, but we ended up leaving town and couldn’t make it.

Tonight though, our interest is piqued. We’re looking at perfect riding weather, we’re not going out of town (at least not this weekend) and there’s a Halloween Party at the end…

Apparently we’re not the only one with a waxing interest in the monthly ride. Since making a successful transition from a more traditional Critical Mass type ride in April, Baltimore Bike Party has been growing exponentially. Their focus on inclusion and ability to design and publish a route ahead of time has been a boon to ridership. This month’s event stretches over 13 miles (map) and may reach as many as 1000 riders.

What’s more, the ride’s organizers have been both savvy and skillful in organizing end parties and social events. We already mentioned Flicks From the Hill and the Station North Block Party, and tonight’s event ends with a large scale Halloween party at Woodberry’s Union Craft Brewing complete with a costume contest, food trucks on site, and a $10 all-you-can-drink wristband.

After taking the brewery’s short tour last Saturday, we can personally attest that it’s a nice little operation they’ve got going there, and their large, fenced parking lot is the perfect place to end the ride and start the party. It’s a far cry from jamming people into the back room of some bar, and our hats are off to the organizers for doing a great job month in and month out and keeping the Party fresh and interesting.

By the way, if you can’t make it out tonight, Union is also hosting their own non-bike-centric Halloween Party tomorrow as part of Beer Week. Tomorrow’s event will run you $18 though, and that price only includes your first pint, so go by bike and get it while the getting is good.

Update: As is indicated in the comments section, tomorrow’s (Saturday’s) Halloween party has been canceled.

Covers Show @ CCAS Tomorrow

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It is one of the great injustices in the music world that shitty bar bands who cover top 40 songs are usually some of the best paid bands out there.

We don’t mean to say that getting up and playing Margaritaville and Rehab is ultra-lucrative and you can quit your day job doing it, but on balance bands that play a club’s College Night or at Baby Boomer bars get guarantees in the hundreds of dollars, and all the beer they can drink. They may be the laughingstock of the rest of the music world, but they’re laughing all the way to the bank while more creative bands are getting $30 and a plate of spaghetti and spending the night in a ’94 Econoline van.

People look down on lounge acts and cover bands, but at least they take home some money.

Most bands, and even most bands in the Local Music Genre value creativity above anything else, and would rather hang up their guitars for good than stand up somewhere and play It’s Raining Men at the special request of some skanky drunken bachelorette party.

Still though, playing covers can be fun. If you do it sparingly and pick the right song, it’s fun not only for the audience, but for the band as well. Nothing says ‘We’ve got our Post-Punk bona fides in order’ like a nice rendition of Where Eagles Dare or Rise Above.

And so somehow, some time, the Halloween Covers Show became a punk rock scene tradition. Bands dress up their sets as other bands, get it? People come in costume and drink beer and celebrate an adult holiday by listening to versions of the songs they discovered and loved as kids.

You can’t drink beer at the Charm City Art Space, tomorrow, but you can wear a costume and hear Fugazi performed by Dead Mechanical, Faith/Void played by members of Sacred Love and Mindset, Hole done by members of True Head/Big Mouth, Stone Temple Pilots attempted by Pleasant Living, AFI performed by Atlas At Last, Fall Out Boy by Highest Honor, and Blink 182 played by Hero of the Hour.

That’s a lot of covers for one show right? Just goes to prove our point: Bands wanted to jump on this bill because it’s fun. If we were in a band we’d probably waste whole practices just playing Fugazi songs for the hell of it. You don’t get away with doing it in public very often, but that’s the beauty of Halloween.

What to Do if Your Car is Towed in Baltimore City

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If you’re standing on the street right now pissed off, smartphone in hand desperately Googling to figure out where the fuck your car is and how to get it back, relax.

Take a deep breath. The Chop is here to help.

If you were towed at rush hour, during a ballgame, or in connection with some other special event, or if you left your car on the street overnight and it was towed, or if it was just in a spot marked ‘tow away zone’ then your car is almost certainly at the Fallsway impound lot. The city initially tows most cars to 410 Fallsway at the corner of Pleasant Street. Located under the elevated portion of the Jones Falls Expressway, it can be found on the map here.

Fallsway is open from 7 am- 7:30 pm Monday through Friday. If it’s past 7:30, you’re probably out of luck and will need to go there in the morning. But they are sometimes open at other hours for special events, and remain open 2 hours after the conclusion of Ravens home games. You can call the lot at (410) 396-4613.

If they are open, you can get to the lot via Bus lines 5, 8, 15, 19, 20, 23, 30, 35, 36, 40, 46, 47, 48, 91 or by taking the Metro Subway to the Shot Tower station and walking north a few blocks. Or call Yellow Cab- (410) 685-1212.

The Fallsway lot does not accept Visa. They also do not accept most banks’ debit cards, even if they are non-Visa. If you are paying by card, there are extra fees associated. The lot accepts money orders and certified checks, but the easiest way to pay is in cash, so go to the ATM before you visit the lot. The lot has its own ATM, which is very expensive. Your best course of action is to visit your own bank’s ATM downtown before you go. Total charges are $272-$282 ($322 for stadium events). Withdraw $300 just to be on the safe side.

You’re going to need a photo ID and either your car’s title or registration, but if the registration is in the car they are usually pretty good about letting you retrieve it and show it to them. Official Baltimore City towing webpages can be found here and here.

As bad as Fallsway is, it’s the best option. You hope your car is at Fallsway. If it is not, you can call 311 to attempt to locate it. If 311 doesn’t work on your mobile phone, dial (443) 263-2220. You can also check the status of your violation (and see how much your ticket is) on the Department of Finance page.

If your car isn’t at Fallsway, or was moved from Fallsway, it is most likely at the city’s main impound lot at 6700 Pulaski Highway (Rt 40 East). Their hours are Monday-Friday 8:30am-5pm and Saturday 9am-4pm. (410) 396-9958 Useful information about Pulaski can be found here.

*Note: This impound lot is very near Crazy Ray’s. If your car is fucked and undriveable and you don’t want it, Crazy Ray’s will pay you $400 (or more) for scrap value. It may or may not be worth it to have it towed there rather than renounce the title to the city. You’ll have to decide that for yourself.

If your car was towed from a privately owned parking lot, driveway, handicap space or similar:

If this is the case then it wasn’t the city that ordered your tow, but a private property owner. The first thing to do is to take a good look around the parking lot for a towing company sign like this one that lists a phone number and address. This will tell you where your car is. Rates vary but count on paying around $300 at least.

If for some reason you can’t find such a sign, attempt to contact the property owner/management to see if and where your car was towed. If you’re not able to contact someone immediately, your car may be at one of the following:

Greenwood Towing 1370 W. North Ave. (410) 669-1661. Greenwood’s facility is open for auto recovery 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Auto Barn 2125 West Lafayette Ave. 410-362-0117. Also open 24 hours. Accepts cash only.

Frankford Towing (410) 254-3800. 6300 Belair Rd.

Berman’s Towing 5720 Reisterstown Road, (410) 366-2000.

Whitelock Towing 2634 Flora Street (in Penn North) (410) 383-2769

These are some of the biggest players in the local towing industry. If your car isn’t at one of these it may be at a smaller local garage.

There’s no two ways about it. Towing in this town is a scam and a fucking racket. We’re sorry if you got picked, and we hope this page could at least get you going in the right direction fast and let you know what to expect. Feel free to add any comments or additional information you may have to share in the comments.

Gameday Regulars, All Eyes West @ Sidebar Tonight

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It was a slow weekend around the Chophouse. We spent most of it drinking boxed wine and watching hard-boiled movies from the 70’s like Midnight Express and Dog Day Afternoon. Hell, it was a slow weekend around Baltimore. Except for Sunday night, there wasn’t much doing.

So we wouldn’t have minded too much if tonight’s Sidebar show had been on Saturday instead. But inasmuch as the World Series doesn’t begin until tomorrow night, it’s nice to have something to do on a Tuesday that’s not cooking or cleaning or folding laundry.

All Eyes West comes East, playing the Sidebar tonight. 9 pm. (photo: Kate Black)

Now, we are by no means a professional rock critic. This is the Baltimore Chop, not Rolling Stone magazine. So we’re kind of at a loss to say anything about these bands that’s not reductionist and labeling, even if we mean it in the best possible way. So with apologies we’re just going to say it:


Widow’s Watch sound like Mega City Four.

The Clamors sound like Crimpshrine.

All Eyes West sound like Foo Fighters.

Gameday Regulars sound like Hot Water Music.

Don’t believe it? Have a listen for yourself:

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Those are the bands that are playing tonight. So if you’ve ever wanted to see MC4, Foo Fighters, HWM and Crimpshrine all on the same bill, this is about as close as you’re gonna get. If you just want to come hang out and drink Boh and be punk rock, well, that’s cool too.

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Sidebar is at 218 E. Lexington St Downtown. 9 pm Doors.

Love in the Age of Passive Dating

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So no more Republican.

That was fun while it lasted but we split amicably and mutually after just a few months, which leaves your Chop in a frustrating and absurd position: the state of Passive Dating. For most of our life we believed Passive Dating was a fiction- a made up thing that people referred to out of convenience.

Of course, being perpetually single most of our life has been spent Actively Dating, so from our late teens and through most of our twenties we would often hear women say things like ‘I’m just kind of taking some time off right now.’ or ‘I’m really trying to focus on me for a while.’ And we didn’t buy it for a second.

Whenever we heard that kind of talk we always took it to really mean ‘I’m still way hung up on my ex-boyfriend.’ or worse ‘I’m just not that into you.’ and to be sure, most of the time it did mean exactly that. But now that we’re well enough into our thirties, the idea of Passive Dating is starting to make a lot of sense.

Not quite as sad as this bastard but we’re dating about as much.

So what is Passive Dating, anyway? Well, if we can extend the old ‘plenty of fish in the sea’ metaphor, Passive Dating is basically the equivalent of not casting a hook, but rather waiting for a fish to just jump up into the boat.

It’s been our experience that Dating Passively is actually pretty common over 30. When people say they’re focusing on their careers, they actually are. When they say they just got out of a serious relationship, they mean serious. Like living together or more. After 30, most people have a pretty good goddamned specific idea of what they want, and seeking it actively is a lot of work.

In our own situation, a big part of our Passivity is due to the fact that we’re trying to leave town for several months again pretty soon. It’s true that we just came home a few weeks ago, but we were looking for a quick turnaround and as soon as the Orioles got knocked out of the playoffs we were ready to pack our bags and go.

In the meantime we’re in the awkward position of knowing exactly what we want but not quite being able to pursue it. Even if by some stroke of Providence we were to meet the perfect person tomorrow and actually do something about it it would be bad timing, to say the least. What’s the point in having a great first date and then saying “Oh, I have to cancel our second date. I just found out I’m going to Diego Garcia for the next 4 months”?

Even dating for dating sake is something we just can’t trouble ourselves with at the moment. Short term dating can be a lot of work. Meeting people isn’t impossible or anything, but it is work, and a good date requires a bit of effort and planning and can run into money pretty quickly. Not to say we’d turn one down, but even in the 21st century, guys still do the asking.

So we end up in the ridiculous situation of shuffling through our usual haunts, inventing excuses to not even try to meet anyone. Forgoing flirting, ignoring openings, and generally staring at our shoes while our mind is someplace else in the world, wondering when the rest of us will make it there.