Privacy Scmivacy: Our Bi-Weekly Political Roundup

Two weeks ago in this space we opined that the current crop of Washington scandals isn’t really so scandalous. And judging by the amount of coverage that they’re getting in the press this week, we were right. The AP, Benghazi, the IRS, these are all now officially old news. They’ve become something that, if it’s mentioned at all is mentioned only as a quick blip, in a poor attempt to pretend to provide context.

And what’s big news today, Edward Snowden and Bradley Manning, will not be much more than old news tomorrow. Things like this will continue to be an ongoing national discussion long after these guys are in jail.

And they are going to jail. It may not be a very popular opinion on our beloved Left, but not everyone who calls himself a Whistleblower actually is one. Bradley Manning put out some very important and critical information that needed to come to light and might not have without him, but he also dumped a lot of shit onto Wikileaks willy-nilly without even thinking for a second what the consequences might be. The jury is still out on this Snowden guy, but it doesn’t appear he’s a career public servant with an ironclad conscience. It looks more like he just had an axe to grind and got pissed at work and happened to be in contact a halfway decent journalist.

Edward Snowden. Photo courtesy of plentyoffish.com.

While real Whistleblowers do deserve certain protections and admiration, these guys do belong in jail. Which is not to say that what they did wasn’t important. They both must have realized that they were liable for significant jail time and decided to leak anyway, and God bless them for that. The world could use more sincere young fools. That’s for sure.

But if you think that we’re approaching the End Times of Brave New Big Brothery because the government could, if it wanted to, see how many phone calls you made then please shut the fuck up.

Where were you when the Ehrlich administration was spying literally spying on anti-death penalty protestors? Where were you when George Bush was setting up ‘Free Speech Zones?’ If you’re pissed about this you should be about a thousand times more pissed at how Google tracks the websites you visit and searches you make or Apple records everything your device does or that the credit reporting bureaus keep a file on you and share it with any company that asks.

The truth is that the government isn’t spying on you because you’re just not that interesting. And if you were that interesting, if you were say, going to threaten a federal judge, they wouldn’t even need a Prism Program to get at you.

Your mistake wasn’t trusting the government. It was trusting big corporations and modern technology which were never any sort of private to begin with. But if you really want to keep your secrets, stay offline and don’t deal with any companies that keep records… and see how far that gets you in life.

For our part, we’ve actually got very little to hide. We Tweet all day every day and tell where we’re going on a blog. Tonight we’re going down to Liam Flynn’s Ale House for the regular meeting of the Baltimore Chapter of Drinking Liberally. It’s free and open to liberals of all stripes, and if you’d like to join show up around 8 and look for the red, white and blue bottle on the table.

Jim Palmer Baseball Writing Prize- 2013 Submissions Open

If there’s one thing the Chop loves above all else, it’s the Old Ballgame. It’s almost scandalous just how much of our day is occupied by the Pastime. When we’re not watching the O’s, we’re checking in on the Nationals or on the lookout for a random Cubs or Braves game. We like watching baseball so much that we’ll even subject our poor ears to the awful announcing on ESPN several times a week.

And if we’re not watching baseball, then we can probably be found reading about it. Whether it’s blogs like The Loss Column and Bugs and Cranks or dusty old books from the glory days of the 60’s and 70’s, we love a good baseball story.

And with that in mind we’re happy to announce that submissions are now open for the 2013 Jim Palmer Baseball Writing Prize.

Now don’t get too excited. If you win Palmer isn’t going to show up at your house with a giant stack of pancakes and regale you with stories about beating Sandy Koufax in the ’66 Series. The prize is merely named in his honor by Cobalt Magazine.

Founded in the Fall of 2011 right here in Baltimore, Cobalt is a serious quarterly literary journal that publishes fiction, poetry, essays and interviews by local, national and even international authors both online and in print. In addition editor Andrew Keating also sponsors a number of contests, the Palmer Prize being one currently open for publication in July 2013. Here are the guidelines from their submissions page:

We realize that $53 and a copy of the July issue may not quite be enough to retire on, but if nothing else the contest is one hell of a résumé booster. Just think of it, even if you don’t win you could spend the rest of your life being introduced at cocktail parties as ‘runner up to the Jim Palmer Baseball Writing Prize.” And if that doesn’t impress ’em then nothing will.

Anyway, we’ll be out at the park for bargain night tonight, sitting upstairs behind the plate cracking peanuts and cracking wise, taking in the view of the skyline and the game on the field. Who knows? We might even be inspired to write something down.

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It should be noted that while the Cobalt website lists the contest deadline as June 25 in two separate places, Andrew Keating has this weekend confirmed to this blog that the deadline is June 15. But even so he has later re-confirmed that the 6/15 deadline was for another contest, and the Palmer Prize’s deadline actually is 6/25. Sorry for the confustion.

Guide to Baltimore iPhone Apps, Part II

In last Wednesday’s post, we highlighted ten of the best Baltimore-related apps for the iPhone. There were a lot of must-have offerings from developers as diverse as the Ravens, Wham City, WYPR, and of course, yours truly. Today though we’re going to dig even deeper into the App Store.

Today’s offerings are a little more specialized, so they won’t be for everyone. But Hell, you just might discover something you didn’t know you needed until now. An iPhone is just an iPhone until you start filling it with the music and contacts and apps that make up your life, and here are 10 choices that might make your phone a little more personal and your life a little more Charmed. All apps are free to download unless otherwise noted.

Charm City Circulator The CCC app works great, and should serve as a model for all transit apps everywhere. It helps you keep the lines and stops straight and can find you on a map to point you to the nearest stop. It also lets you know when the next bus is coming. Not scheduled to come but actually coming. It’s worth carrying for that alone. Recommended.

TransitGuru Maryland MTA This app is a complete waste of $1.99. Even for someone like us who is without a car and rides transit often, it is absolutely worthless. It’s just a big clunky database of stops and timetables and doesn’t give you any real information. We recommend bookmarking the MTA’s individual web pages for Bus, Light Rail, and Subway service and referring to those, which work quickly and easily in their mobile versions and provide maps and timetables without hogging storage on your phone. Not recommended.

Explore Baltimore Heritage This is the rare app that’s useful to both visitors and locals alike. The main feature is a map of historic buildings and sites, and a touch of each pin on the map reveals a detailed history of that location. Also included are several themed walking tours, audio history, photos and a whole lot more. A must have for anyone with even a mild interest in history. Highly Recommended.

Soundscape Just last week we were walking outside Oriole Park and stopped for a moment to appreciate the unique 360° sounds around us. Vendors, ticket hawkers, crowds and the ballpark PA in the background. We though we might make a recording but didn’t know quite what to do with it. Now we know. The Hearing and Speech Agency created the Baltimore Soundscape Project to record the sounds and moments just like that all over the city. Record any sound you find interesting to share with the project, and listen to sounds recorded by others. And as a bonus you’re creating a valuable educational tool for children with disabilities. Recommended.

Bikram Yoga Baltimore We’re no great fan of Yoga, so we won’t be carrying this app on our phone. But Yoga is more popular than ever and if you enjoy it this app and a separate one from Charm City Yoga make it incredibly easy to browse class times and instructors and book reservations. Recommended.

Real Food Farm We first told you about Real Food Farm back in 2010, and since then they’ve been growing bigger and better all the time. Now they’re out with their own iPhone app which is a great resource for keeping track of daily mid-week farmers’ markets and mobile stops. You can even build a shopping list, browse recipes, and get home delivery all in the app. If you can’t make it to the farmers’ market, now it can come to you! this app is especially useful if you live in Northeast Baltimore. The further you live from Clifton park, the less use you’re likely to get from it. Highly recommended.

Woodlands & Diamond Ridge Golf Course This app is made for the Woodlands and Diamond Ridge golf courses in Baltimore County, but there are also separate apps for all the other county courses; Greystone, Rocky Point and Fox Hollow. You can pick your favorite or download them all and put them in your ‘golf’ collection. These apps are surprisingly thorough with tee times, weather, GPS yardage, course guidelines, directions, and much more. We wish there were similar apps for the city’s public courses. Recommended.

MD Civil War Trails This app from the Maryland Office of Tourism is a complete statewide guide to 225 Civil War sites and their history with photos and descriptions by location. It’s a great way to plan a day or weekend trip with info on hotels, dining and attractions along the way. Recommended.

Gwynns Falls Trail The Parks and People Foundation has put a lot of time and money into building and improving the Gwynns Falls Trail and this app is an extension of that. Casual or one-time users may not realize much benefit from this app, but if you live near the trail and like to hike or bike it often this is probably well worth the 99 cent download. It’s got offline maps and GPS for all parts of the trail as well as many more features.

Ocean City Mobile There are two Ocean City themed apps on the app store, but after downloading and tooling around with both of them we recommend going with the “official” version which seems to work a lot better. It’s a thorough listing of hotels and motels as well as dining and nightlife, events, and more. If you want to run downy oshen at the last minute, this app makes it easy to book a room on the fly while you’re stuck in Bay Bridge traffic.

What are some of your favorite Baltimore Based apps? Have one you love that didn’t make our list? Got some news on a new app being developed? Let us know about it in the comments.

The Beaux’ Stratagem Opening @ Everyman Theater Tonight

You’ll have to forgive the Chop if we’re a little impatient this evening, Baltimore. Pardon us if we’re a bit brusque with a busboy or a peck piqued at a parking attendant. For you see, tonight we’ve got a curtain time to make.

This evening we’re heading downtown to the Everyman Theater for the opening night of their final show this season, The Beaux’ Stratagem, and we could hardly be more excited. Tonight’s production is a modern adaptation of a traditional English Restoration Comedy first produced in the early 1700’s and updated partially by Thornton Wilder and to completion by Washington DC playwright Ken Ludwig.

The show follows the misadventures of two gentlemen of dubious background who are ‘short on cash and long on schemes.’ According to Wikipedia the show also features a “band of brigands” and a “saucy inkeeper’s daughter,” so it’s pretty much right up our alley. But don’t take our word for it. Here’s Everyman’s founding creative director Vincent Lancisi to tell you more:

Just as much as the production itself, we’re excited to finally get down to see the new theater. Everyman staged their inaugural performance on Fayette Street in January while we were out at sea, but it’s hard to believe that it happened so recently. We’ve been following the news of the move since it was announced more than two years ago, when it seemed a long time away. And it was. It takes a lot of time to complete an $18 Million renovation in a century-old building. But much like Christmas, it’s sneaked up before we know it and tonight’s the night we finally get a look around for ourselves.

If you haven’t had your own look yet, the Beaux’ Stratagem runs through June 30, with performances Tuesday-Sunday and additional matinees on the weekend.

Or if you really want to get a good look around we might point out that right now is a great time to become an Everyman subscriber. Because this is the end of the theater season, you’re just in time to catch all six plays in the 2013-2014 season, including Tennessee Williams’ The Glass Menagerie and Red based on the life and work of Mark Rothko.

Early bird prices for subscribers are in effect until the end of June, and with a variety of plans available it’s like seeing six shows but paying for four. Five thousand Everyman subscribers can’t be wrong: going to the theater twice for free is a pretty sweet deal.

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Everyman Theater is located at 315 W. Fayette Street Downtown. For tickets or information call 410.752.2208 or visit everymantheater.org.

Krystal

Don’t look now Baltimore, but it’s that time of year again. That time when our web browsers and social media feeds, not to mention our actual streets are clogged to the gills with rich suburbanites pretending to be working class city folk by wrapping themselves in cheap plastic boas and cat’s eye glasses.

Yes it is time for the fest that dare not speak its name. We’ll be staying the hell out of Hampden this weekend, thank you very much. Instead we’re opting to take part in a real old fashioned Baltimore tradition: the Fell’s Point Bachelor Party.

And right in time for the Debacle on 36th Street we’d like to introduce you to Krystal. Not that you need much of an introduction. If you’re from Baltimore you’ve known Krystal your whole life. She’s your aunt, your neighbor across the alley, the the woman you’re standing in line behind at the bank.

Above is the first installment of a 16 part Youtube series from local media production firm WE WILL KILL. As near as we can tell, they produced and uploaded them all in one big Netflix style chunk a couple weeks ago and they haven’t gone quite viral yet.

We’ll admit that our initial reaction was something along the lines of “Oh great, more Hon nonsense. Hasn’t this been done to death? Can’t people give it a rest already? But after we got into the third or fourth of these very brief episodes we had changed our mind and become hooked.

The jokes here are punchy and funny in their own right, but most of the humor is derived from the overall tone. When Krystal is yelling at the dogs to quiet down in episode 5, it’s not the cheap pun on the word ‘Muffin’ that had us laughing out loud, but the perfect comedic timing of switching between yelling at the dogs and talking to polite company. To anyone who grew up here it’s going to sound pitch perfect.

And there are many similar moments throughout the series, which we watched in one big marathon romp all the way through. We suggest you do the same. If you’re like us, you’ll probably come to love Krystal as much as she loves Keith Mills.