How to Shop at Target: A Guide For Men

You can ask any woman and they’ll all tell you the same thing… you can find some really great stuff at Target.

It’s no accident either. Whereas their main competitor Wal-Mart seems to purposefully sell the most generic, basic and bland sorts of items across the board and across the country, Target’s designer fashion program is consistently on-trend, versatile, and affordable, and is not only key to their business model, but to their success as well.

Whether it’s through partnerships with big name designers like Jean Paul Gaultier or Alexander McQueen, nationwide agreements with labels like Mossimo and Converse, or just hiring talented, sensible designers into their house label, design sensibility and reasonable prices make Target almost impossible to ignore.

It's hard to go wrong in a pair of Levi's.

Unfortunately, as with some other stores, women seem to have it much better than men in the aisles of Target. The Men’s section in every Target we’ve ever seen has been underwhelming, to say the least. Not only is it relegated to a small corner of the store, but it often looks more like it’s full of overgrown boys’ clothes than anything an actual man would wear. Still though, if you choose carefully it is possible to come away from Target with a few great pieces of clothing without spending much money at all.

The main thing to keep in mind is that you are in fact a man, and not an overgrown boy. This alone will rule out entire swaths of the men’s section very quickly. Once you get past the many racks of giant hibiscus printed board shorts, cargo shorts, and crummy graphic tees you’re on the right track.

While you’re at it, you can also skip right over any and all dress shirts, slacks, jackets, suits, shirts or anything that one might wear to an office. This is not where Target excels, and you’d do much better to pick these up elsewhere. Despite the partnership with Converse, the men’s shoe section can’t hold a candle to an actual shoe store. Once you’ve gotten past all this, you’re left with what is generally regarded as weekend wear.

As with any large chain, Target selection is dictated by volume. The good news is that everything is seasonally appropriate. You won’t find yourself buried in cable-knit sweaters in July or perusing shorts in December. The bad news is that sizing is at it’s most basic and is very limited. Most menswear in Target stores is labeled S,M,L, or maybe XL. Jeans run from about 30″-40″. If you’re accustomed to ‘big and tall’ shopping, you can likely stay out of Target entirely.

For the rest of us, it is crucial to keep in mind a rule you would follow at all times: Don’t outfit yourself entirely from any one store. We put that in bold italics because it’s important. It doesn’t matter whether that store is Target, Banana Republic, or Brooks Brothers. Buying too many clothes from one source shows through on the street, and it never looks quite right.

100% cotton and flat fronts. What more do you want?

What you’re looking for at Target is typically solid basics like a pair of Levi’s or Wranglers (mind the Brett Favre dad-jeans though, there are plenty of those around), some flat-front chinos or a casual button up or polo. It can also be an outstanding source for certain accessories, most especially socks, belts, boxers and hats.

The hat selection is much better than you’d expect, but keep in mind that it’s very easy to look like a total shart in a hat. Don’t even try it if you’re under 30, and eschew any shred of irony.

Several types of polos, all under $15.

By the same turn, it’s also a terrible place to shop for accessories. Sunglasses, wristwatches, and anything else that’s not socks, belts or boxers can be pretty tacky and is usually of very poor quality.

Our ultimate advice? Don’t go to Target for clothes. But if you happen to be in there for a new TV or a set of dishes or a small appliance, be sure to at least glance at the clothes. You might be pleasantly surprised.

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Note: because of technical issues with Target’s website, these photos are of similar products. They’re of about the same quality and fairly well representative of Target’s offerings. Sorry about that.

Event Promoters Litter Baltimore Streets… Literally

Oh Monday. It’s been a long and busy weekend in Baltimore. Everyone’s tired. Most people are sunburned. Some of us are still hungover. With everything that’s gone on over the last 60 hours or so since everyone quit the workweek, it makes sense that no one feels like doing anything and there’s fuck all going on. We don’t feel like doing anything either, so we’re giving today’s post over to a public service announcement.

This is a very poor promotional strategy.

We’ve been noticing a trend of late that promoters for various parties/events or establishments have been leaving postcards scattered along the sidewalks in certain areas with high pedestrian traffic. These brightly colored and gaudy pieces of litter are like a trail of paper breadcrumbs, illustrating exactly the path on which some lazy flier-man walked. ‘Here’s where he crossed Calvert. Here’s Where he went down Baltimore Street. Here’s where he ran out of fliers and called it a day.’ To the area promoters who are guilty of this we say:

KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!

It’s bad enough that we have to deal with an endless barrage of sub shop menus, fliers under windshield wipers and a new copy of that Sun Plus piece of crap every other day. Sidewalks strewn with several hundred promo cards for some strip club or the latest ‘grown and sexy’ party are absolutely the last thing this city needs.

If the city council is still looking for new ways to gin up revenue through taxes, fees and fines, we’d like to make a humble suggestion…

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Defiance, Ohio and Ryan Harvey @ Charm City Art Space Today

There’s an interesting contrast before us today. We can go up to the second day of Honfest, which is (ahem) a a community celebration of homespun charm, independent creativity, and the blissfully absurd or something like that. We can celebrate those things while we drink a cool Heineken and check out some dad rock on the Bacardi stage, all courtesy of a great friend of Wal-Mart.

We could do that. It’s a nice thing and people like it. It would be a pleasant afternoon. For us though, we like our independents a little more independent, our our homespinning a little more homespun, our absurdity a little more absurd and our politics a lot further to the left.

Defiance-Ohio-Midwestern-Minutes

That’s why we’re heading down to the Charm City Art Space today for a good old fashioned punk rock Sunday matinee show. This one’s definitely worth rolling out of bed at the crack of noon for, as we haven’t had a chance to see Defiance, Ohio live yet. How do you describe them to the unfamiliar? It’s not quite adequate to say they’re “folk punk,” although they’re certainly one of the mainstays of that sound and have influenced countless “folkers” since their inception in 2002. But maybe the next-easiest way to describe them is to say they’re kind of like Against Me!, except that they’re not a bunch of trite posers.

But don’t take our word for it. Whether or not you show up to see them today, the band would be more than happy to give you all of their songs for free on their website. How’s that for power to the people, Hon?

Playing in support today is local Riot-Folker Ryan Harvey, who’s been playing punk influenced folk music in Baltimore’s church basements, VFW’s and punx picnics since about forever. Not really forever, but since he was knee-high to a Crasshole anyway. He’s all growed up now, and still doing what he does best. Come set a spell and listen, Hon.

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Charm City Art Space is at 1731 Maryland Ave. in Station North. 2 pm Show, all ages.

Polar Bear Club, Lemuria +3 More @ Ottobar Tonight

What’s important to you Baltimore? Is watching the World Cup really very important? Is it of grave urgency that you wear funny wigs and feather boas and drink in the street this weekend? How about stealing back the foursquare mayorship of some bar? Is that crucial?

Tonight something actually important is happening at the Ottobar.

Understand, it’s not like Haiti Earthquake important or Oil Spill important… but to us it’s important all the same. Just like we said that the Easter Sunday record release show was a milestone in Baltimore music, so is tonight’s show. This is what makes 2010 a celebrated summer. (haw haw haw!)

Aside from the completely and totally sick bill that’s been assembled tonight, this show marks the Occasion of Mike Riley’s wedding to Julie Benoit. If you like punk rock in Baltimore, or if you ever did, it behooves you to tip your cap to Mike tonight. We could go on at length about what he’s done for this city, but his new blog Speech Impediment gives a much better picture than we could here. It’s an amazing online document of the history of Baltimore punk since 1997, and will only continue to grow.

As if running multiple venues, putting on shows, and being in some noteworthy bands himself wasn’t enough, Mike also continues to maintain Firestarter Records, and if you’ve got any kind of good taste at all, you’ve probably got a record he made on your shelf right now.

We wish Mike and Julie the best, and all the happiness they deserve, although we’d hate to see him make any sort of attempt at becoming a grown up. (Zing!)

But as if the chance to glad hand the man of the hour and buy him a Coke wasn’t enough, he’s also found five amazing bands to fete the occasion tonight. You know how we sometimes pick one or two bands to write about on a multi-band bill? Well, we can’t do that today. All five of these bands are incredible, and if we tried to quantify that, we’d run to 20,000 words. So we’re just going to tell you who they are:

Polar Bear Club

Lemuria

Cloak/Dagger

Dead Mechanical

Deep Sleep

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Ottobar is at 2549 N. Howard St. Doors @ 8:30. All ages.

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The Perfect Way to End a Week

We were really torn on what to do tonight Baltimore. You seem to have left us high and dry this time. What’s doing tonight? Go down to the stadium and watch the O’s lose again? Go to that dull little Honfest concert thing? Go fill up on grape leaves and ouzo with the Greeks?

Nope. Somehow those options just aren’t as appealing as they could be. Instead, the Chop will take to the sea. And by sea we mean probably not much further than the Key Bridge.

We won’t go into too much detail. When talking of ships and the sea, one can easily slip into Charles Marlow territory and put readers to sleep. Suffice it to say, we’re on a boat.

Boats are a lot like brunch. The mere fact of being on one means you’re doing something right. So when the sun gets low over Pigtown tonight, we’ll be reefing up the mainsail, tacking around Fort McHenry, pouring a round of Manhattans, and saying to ourselves “If this isn’t nice, what is?”