Chop Style: Grilling Aprons

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Now that baseball season is officially underway, we’re about to see all the hallmarks of Summer in Baltimore unfold rapidly. We’re on the cusp of several months of crab feasts, Arabbers, festivals, open fire hydrants, stoop sitting, and all the other things that make Summer in the city such a wonderful time.

Last week wasn’t just the beginning of baseball season, it was also the de facto start of the grilling season. Whether you favor Esskay dogs or Ceriello steaks, charcoal or gas, it’s time to get cooking. If you’ve read this blog before you probably know that we’re very careful about choosing clothes and getting dressed, and we aim to keep the A1 and the Pickapeppa far away from our shirts this Summer. How? By being careful about choosing an apron.

Aprons still have a bit of a feminine connotation attached to them, and while there are plenty of patterns and designs available out there, few of them are suited to men. In choosing one for yourself, you should be guided by the same principles that inform the rest of your wardrobe. Pick something that’s made of quality cloth in a classic color or pattern that works for all occasions. Most importantly, stay away from stupid novelty aprons. Whatever it looks like, your apron should not distract from the rest of your outfit. Here are three choices for your Summer cookouts which are damn near foolproof.

The thing about aprons is this: even the fanciest ones you can possibly buy are under $30. This one from Dean and DeLuca is plain white and perfect for outdoor use. Even if you’re just serving up hot dogs and ketchup, the prominent label will lend you a little gourmet credibility and your cookout guests will come away thinking ‘Oh he shop at Dean and DeLuca. He think he fancy, huh?’

Williams Sonoma Marseille apron. $24.

The Marseille apron from Williams Sonoma does in fact have a bunch of flowers all over it, but we’d dare anyone to call it girly. The pattern is so tight and the color so muted that it falls squarely into the ‘classic’ category, and at $24 it might be the least expensive item in any Williams Sonoma store.

Sur la Table Black Muted Stripe apron. $19.95

Of course, there are few things more masculine than butchering, and if you’re the kind of backyard chef that literally likes to go whole-hog, then this butcher-striped apron from Sur La Table should be right up your alley. It may not have the prominent branding of the D & D apron, but if any of your guests should ask about it you have the added enjoyment of getting to pronounce Sur la Table which can be a launching pad to a five minute comedy routine complete with Julia Child impression if you’ve had a few Summer cocktails.

One final word: Although we fully endorse aprons, and even aprons from fancy-schmancy stores like the ones listed here, we would caution anyone against going the extra mile and wearing a chef’s coat at home. Nothing screams ‘I’m a pretentious asshole and am only cooking for you to feed my own ego’ like wearing a chef’s coat outside a commercial kitchen. Plus you’ll look like a sweaty jerk wearing a full coat in the middle of Summer. If you’re hosting a cookout, you can always fold an apron down to the waist, grab a beer and mingle while the grill is going. In a chef’s coat, you’ll look more like the help than the host, and be at a remove from your guests until you take the damn thing off.

The Best Mens Watches under $500

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When the Chop turned 30 recently, we decided it would be thoroughly appropriate to mark the passage of time with the purchase of our first decent watch. There’s no small amount of metaphorical allusion involved in such a purchase, but for the Chop it was as much a practical acquisition as anything. Most watches we’ve had in the past have been gifts, and while they were all well-intentioned, they were also all cheap and low on style. If you’re going to live past 30, you deserve a watch that costs more than $30. That’s how we see it.

Your Chop did not enter into the pursuit of watch shopping lightly. We weren’t expecting to get something that’s going to be a future heirloom or anything, but if we’re going to part with a few hundred dollars, we’d like to end up with something that’s going to last us several years, be high on style, be made to quality standards, and go with most everything. In addition to being a self-birthday gift, the watch also has to do double duty as being a souvenir of our first trip to England, which is where we eventually found one that was just right.

These picks reflect an optimum mix of style, price, and quality. The Chop’s not going to waste your time with tourbillions, complications, jeweled bearings and the merits of white gold vs. rose gold. We just want you to look good when she asks you for the time.

What we wear:

Tissot

The Chop's watch. Tissot Desire.

This isn’t exactly our watch, but it’s the closest to be found on the US website. After being founded in Le Locle, Switzerland in 1853, Tissot eventually partnered with Omega, which are both now owned by the Swatch Group. Tissot offers a good range of styles with prices up into used-car-price-range territory, but we give highest marks to their Classic line which looks as good today as when these things were first designed.

What we would wear:

Mondaine

Mondaine likes to market themselves as the official watch of the Swiss Railways, which is a pretty ringing endorsement. The common design aesthetic throughout their whole line makes these watches as easy to read on your wrist as they are to notice on someone else’s. The Automatic model above features day and date, which sets the price around $600. That’s a bargain if you’re in the market for a well-designed quality Swiss watch. The really good news for the rest of us is that prices go down from there. The Chop couldn’t justify wearing one of these as our only watch, but if we’re ever in the market for a second watch, we’re probably shopping Mondaine first.

Nixon

Nixon Chronicle in gunmetal/brown/taupe.

Nixon has found it’s way onto every fashionable watch shopper’s radar in the last few years, possibly because they’re more of a design house than a watchmaker. You wouldn’t know it to look at their line of watches though, which is as extensive as it is beautiful. The watch selector on their site is either a valuable shopping tool or a great time waster, depending on how serious you are about buying. They also offer most of their watches in a variety of shades and colors, so whatever design you have in mind, they’ve likely got a watch to match. The Regent is the top of their line for good reason, but anyone wanting to find a gorgeous watch in the $100 to $300 range would do well to check out the Chronicle, the Esquire, the Mellor or the Sentry. You’re going to want more than one.

Skagen

Skagen Extra Large Steel Case on Mesh

We discovered Danish brand Skagen while we were in Germany, and were sorely tempted to buy one. How cool would it be to walk around with a watch with a display reading “Freitag” instead of Friday? And that’s leaving aside the fact that their whole line are designed to be modern classics, are outfitted with Swiss quartz movements and fall in between $100 and $300.

Lucien Piccard

Lucien Piccard 26821BK

Swiss pedigree, Swiss or Japanese Seiko quartz, a full line of well designed watches, and most are around or below $500. What’s not to like? They’ve even got a statement on their website about conflict diamonds, which is admirable, and sadly, still all too rare in today’s marketplace.

What we would wear if were were filthy stinking rich:

We’re not rich, of course, but as a basis for comparison here’s a few of the world’s best watches to lust after. Click through to the watchmakers’ sites and take a close look at these, and you’ll laugh pretty hard next time you see Tiger Woods in a Tag Heuer ad or some sharts wearing Gucci in Milan.

Ball

Ball Trainmaster Cannonball... you can pull a Christopher Walken with that Rolex, big spender.

Ulysse Nardin

"Ulysse Nardin Moonstruck... entirely mechanical yet smarter than your iPad.

Panerai

Panerai Luminor GMT... perfect Italian design that will outlast you.

Free Food for Happy Hour

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The Chop is jumping on the Bolt Bus and heading up to New York for a party tonight. As much as we’re loathe to admit that any city anywhere has some advantage over Baltimore, and especially New York City, we can’t deny that there is one aspect in which the Big Apple is thoroughly and completely superior: free food at happy hour.

The tradition of free food at happy hour traces back to some time of yore in some place that we don’t really feel like Googling right now. However it is mentioned in Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle (1906) in a scene in which Jurgis is low on money and chooses to go to the bar and buy whiskey in order to enjoy the free meal being served with it.

Rudy's in Hell's kitchen has been giving away hot dogs for decades and hasn't gone broke yet. Baltimore bar owners, please take note.

The Jungle is set in Chicago, of course, but we believe the tradition of free food to have originated in Manhattan, probably in bars with specific ethnic clienteles who all enjoyed specific ethnic foods. Rudy’s Bar in Hell’s Kitchen has made itself famous nationwide as ‘the place that gives away free hot dogs all day every day’, and any New Yorker who is hungry or broke or both can easily pull up many lists of plenty of bars which are more than happy to feed customers for free during happy hour. And we’re not just talking wieners here; these bars are serving up everything from dogs and burgers to wings, hummus, cheese plates, pasta dishes and even bagels and brunch spreads on Sundays.

In an era when people are as thirsty as ever and still feeling the lingering effects of the Bush Economy, free food at happy hour makes perfect sense. Baltimoreans are always quick to embrace a deal, and a local bar scene in which taverns compete not on the basis of who can throw the best dance party or tap the most microbrews, but who gives away the best and most food is a winning situation for everyone.

If Baltimore wishes to hold onto its claim of being The Greatest City in America, we need to get our act together on the happy hour food giveaways.

Stoop Storytelling @ JHMI Turner Auditorium Tonight

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Since its inception five years ago, the Stoop Storytelling Series has become a fixture at Centerstage, and a favorite among consumers of Baltimore culture. Its format of seven diverse storytellers each telling seven minute stories has proven wildly popular, and in its time has covered topics as diverse as race relations, romantic misadventures, surviving a war and surviving high school.

Tonight the Stoop will change things up a bit, presenting on a Friday instead of its usual Monday, and straying temporarily from its home at Centerstage to visit the Turner Auditorium on the campus of the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health. Tonight’s stories are presented in partnership with Hopkins’ office of cultural affairs, and the theme for the evening is Hopkins Medicine: A World Inside a City.

<i>Is your ass ringing?</i> All kinds of interesting things happen in hospitals.

It’s a fitting title, because Hopkins is a world inside a city. Between the hospital, Bayview campus, Homewood campus and grad school it’s at least a small town inside a city. As such, it can tend to be a fairly insular community, and tonight’s program is sure to be a rare look at its inner workings for the rest of us.

There is certainly no shortage of dramatic and compelling stories that come along with such a sizable medical institution, accounting for the continuing popularity of televised medical dramas like ER, Grey’s Anatomy, et al. It makes sense… inside those walls there’s all the pathos of life and death, pain and suffering, struggle, triumph, and what is sometimes described as miracles. We’ve seen the Hollywood versions of all this, but the stories you’ll hear from first-hand narrators tonight are all entirely true.

If you can’t make it tonight you can still listen to all of the stories being presented in the comfort of your own home, office, car, treadmill at the gym or wherever with the Stoop Podcast. All of their previous stories and storytellers (301 and counting) are now available for free on iTunes.

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Turner Auditorium is at 720 Rutland Ave, 21287. Tickets are $15 advance and $20 at the door with a maximum of 2 per customer, as a sell-out is expected. A Hopkins ID will save you $5. on admission.1-800-838-3006 or brownpapertickets.com to purchase.

Heads for Deleted Scenes, Tales for Vivian Girls

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Well, lucky Chop. We’ve got another night with too damn many interesting things going on. We already told you yesterday about the Found Footage Festival at the Creative Alliance tonight, and we can scarcely find room to mention that Madison Smartt Bell is also reading from his new novel and signing copies at Atomic Books tonight.

Sadly though, we’re not quite in the mood for film or literature tonight. We feel like getting drunk and listening to some rock and roll bands. And there’s no shortage of them going around either.

IMG_3244

It’s impossible to go wrong with Deleted Scenes, who have been getting a lot of attention lately as a band to watch. Some of that attention has been from this blog, as we named them among the 10 best shows we blogged last year. Riding that momentum, we expect they’ll be playing a number of songs from their forthcoming record Young People’s Church of the Air, which is bound to be one of the better records coming out in 2011. They’re playing the Metro Gallery tonight with North Carolina’s equally buzzworthy Hammer No More the Fingers, who are set to record a full length in May with J. Robbins, as well as locals Gary B and the Notions and Vinny Vegas.

It’s a show we’d jump on under normal circumstances, but tonight there’s an equally interesting show happening at the Ottobar. A Vivian Girls show is always a good time, and they’ve got a new album of their own, Share the Joy coming out on Tuesday. If you just can’t wait that long, you can click over to NPR’s First Listen and hear the new stuff before the show tonight.

If Cassie Ramone, Kickball Katy, and new drummer Fiona Campbell look noticeably more suntanned than this crummy overcast Spring should allow, it may be because they’re fresh off the Bruise Cruise on the Carnival Imagination. Go ahead and read that link and we think you’ll agree with us that the end of Punk, and Western Civilization is very, very near.

They’re playing tonight with a band we like but have never seen before, the Black Lips who are the heirs apparent to acts like Ween and the Dead Milkmen. It’s a tough call. A trip to the Ottobar tonight may mean a quality John Waters sighting, or it could also mean a few ex-girlfriend sightings. You pays your money and you takes your chances, we guess.

So we’re going to leave it to chance. Not being bothered to try to see both shows, we’re just going to flip a coin. Heads for Deleted Scenes, tales for Vivian Girls. We’ll let the Queen decide via a British pound coin.