Home Improvement as Self-Improvement at The Loading Dock

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One of the things the Chop loves best about Baltimore is that its a city of open secrets. Anyone tuned into the right gossip channels (of the offline variety) doesn’t have to do too much digging to get to the dirt. The Chop was clued in to a particularly incredible open secret some years ago, which we stored in the back of our mind and only this weekend went to check out for ourselves.

What's for dinner? Stoves and other working appliances sell cheaply at TLD.

Yesterday we also added The Loading Dock to the list of reasons we love Baltimore more than any other city in the world. Much like Bookthing and the Baltimore Free Store, The Loading Dock takes a common sense idea and moulds it into something seemingly radical, but entirely practical which is a model for community development throughout the entire nation. How simply radical are they? Check out their mission statement:

Our Mission is twofold. We strive to increase the supply of decent, affordable housing for lower to moderate-income families by facilitating the reuse of materials that would otherwise be thrown away. At the same time we are saving precious environmental resources by taking reusable material out of the waste stream.

Insert rug-munching joke here: excess carpet rolls to fit most rowhouse rooms.

Okay, so even that may not sound terribly radical, but once we had a chance to walk the warehouse and see the stock, we were awed. TLD is literally packed with tons of building materials which would otherwise be completely wasted, and the prices for everything in the place are astonishingly low. Whether you’re in a pinch and need to suddenly replace a broken toilet, need to tile or carpet a basement floor, fix a broken windowpane or accomplish anything else around the house, you can get it done with serviceable materials at a fraction of the price of new, and save the earth at the same time.

Your window on the world: all manner of windows for installation or craft projects.

A $10 annual membership will allow you (and one additional cardholder) access to both the entire stock of materials, as well as a regular calendar of DIY workshops like the upcoming Greening Your Home and Drywall Repair clinics, among others.

A throne for every castle: all manner of plumbing fixtures from antique to modern.

Still doesn’t sound radical? Compare it to the new big-box corporate monster hardware store that’s trying to move onto 25th Street and the difference is pretty clear. If green, sustainable home improvement matters to you, we strongly urge you to oppose the plans for big-box development in Remington by getting involved with the efforts of Bmore Local at their site or join with over 700 of your neighbors on their Facebook Group. You can also follow development news on the project at the Baltidome Blog, who have been on top of the story since the beginning.

The Doors of perception are open: Doors for hanging or to be used as coffee tables, headboards, room dividers, workbenches, etc.

So the Chop is spending our Sunday watching the O’s on TV and putting in work on a little project we dreamed up, which is going to look like we spent over $300 dollars on, but thanks to The Loading Dock, was actually less than $30.

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The Loading Dock is located at 2 N. Kresson Street (map). They’re open Monday through Saturday, and more information can be found on their website, loadingdock.org.

Pfisters, the Wayward @ Ruintown Tonight

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Hey Baltimore, you can keep your fancy festivals and super exclusive microshows. Give us a good old fashioned DIY show any night of the week. In fact, give us one every night of the week. We had such a great time at Floristree last night, we’re heading right back out to Ruintown tonight.

If you’re not familiar, Ruintown is sort of directly behind, and under the G-Spot, which is right in the middle of one of the most desolate stretches of road in North Baltimore at 2980 Falls Road. The Chop has only made it out to Ruintown once so far, but we’re pleased to report that these kids are doing it right. Our first experience seeing the Pfisters at Ruintown was all fun and no bullshit. A great space for bands, a skate ramp, a keg, a Natty Boh vending machine and a campfire out back. This venue is pretty much the cool kids’ clubhouse you used to fantasize about in high school.

Pfisters and the Wayward play Ruintown tonight. Sometime after sunset.

Every awesome venue needs an equally awesome house band, and The Pfisters are just that. Made up of the New Flesh’s frontman Jason Donnells and a two piece rhythm section that’s former Trash Camp, Pfisters pick up where the New Flesh leave off. As much as we always enjoyed seeing the New Flesh live, we’d place Pfisters high above anything these guys have done before. We’re not the only ones who think so either. Aural States agrees with us, and lists Narcicity as recommended listening.

Also turning out tonight is Baltimore’s The Wayward who are just back from a brief tour with Pfisters, as well as two bands from Richmond, The Bermuda Triangles and Street Pizza.

When we asked for details about this show, The Chop was told ‘just show up around 8 or some shit’. And while we’d bet the farm this thing won’t start anywhere near 8:00, it’s still probably good advice to show up before nine, since parking is scarce along Falls Road, and since those kegs will run dry before the night is through.

Yeah. It’s that kind of party.

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Ruintown is at 2980 Falls Road. Tonight’s show is 18+. BYOB is also encouraged.

Double Dagger, Future Islands @ Floristree Tonight

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We were actually pretty happy when Secret Mountains won last week’s poll. They’re the real deal live, and quickly becoming one of our favorite Baltimore Bands. We sure hated to miss Double Dagger and Future Islands though, and it’s been a long week we’ve been waiting for tonight’s show.

We shouldn’t have to tell you how awesome Double Dagger is, since we’ve been doing just that from day one. We will remind you though that this is your last chance to see them before they set off to tour Europe and the UK.

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We also shouldn’t have to tell you how awesome Future Islands is, since that’s all anyone seems to tell us. We will reiterate our prediction that they make it all the way to Saturday Night Live though. When the new record comes out May 4, they’re going to become a household name.

We’re just trying to figure out how to help them along to the SNL stage. Write a letter to Thrill Jockey? A Twitter hashtag? #FIonSNL Maybe? A Facebook page perhaps? A deal with the Devil? We’ll do whatever it takes.

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Floristree is located in the H & H Building. 405 W. Franklin St. 6th floor. Doors are at 8 pm. It’s like, a private residence, man. And should be treated accordingly.

Rick Dempsey is the Worst-Dressed Man in Baltimore

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Let’s get one thing straight… the Chop loves Rick Dempsey. Not like we love our Dad or Roommate, but more like we love our favorite uncle. You know that favorite uncle… he’s quick with a joke, kind as a saint, a little self-effacing, never wears out his welcome, and has some great stories to tell. These are the reasons we love the Dipper, but much like that favorite uncle, Uncle Rick has no fashion sense whatsoever.

It’s been a long standing ‘elephant in the room’ in this town that Rick Dempsey is one of the worst dressed men in Baltimore. Okay, maybe not the worst in the entire city but certainly the worst dressed on television. We watch a lot of O’s games here in our Stately North Baltimore Pleasure Dome, and we can hardly stand the post-game shows anymore… not because of the O’s horrendous record, but because Uncle Rick’s suits are a terrible eyesore.

When we call out the Dipper, we do it from a place of love. We sincerely hope he’ll take himself down to one of those awesome Jos. A Bank sales that seem to happen every other week and get himself outfitted properly.

Let’s start with the basics. This is a very serviceable suit, but it’s ruined by a tie that even George Bush wouldn’t wear, and a haircut that isn’t a haircut at all. It’s a piss-poor dye job that went to the dogs and a brushy mustache that’s downright unkempt. Hey Dipper, check out the Chop Shop or QG. They’ll do you right.

A three button thick-pinstripe suit with a broadstripe tie and matching silk pocket square??? You’re either a 1980’s investment banker or Biggie Smalls. Someone should tell uncle Rick that pinstripes are for Yankees.

We see that Ollie’s Bargain Outlet sign behind your right ear, and we know they sponsor bargain night, which we love, but you shouldn’t buy your shirt-tie-and pocket square sets there for $12.99. In fact, you shouldn’t buy those in sets at all. We wouldn’t bury a pauper in one of those. That earpiece-microphone isn’t helping matters either. Clip it to your tie for Christ’s sake!

Here’s the same pinstripe suit with an equally ugly tie. Notice the way the pinstripes run in three different directions- a hallmark of sweatshop tailoring. Dempsey and Jim Hunter both dress like a couple of guys who saved up a week’s pay and found the nearest salesman and said ‘Dress me up fancy schmancy!’ It’s hard to tell from this picture, but the suit is also two sizes too large and the sleeves are two inches too long.

Unfortunately, the Dipper’s not much better off the clock. Here he looks like a professional stamp collector and quasi-pervert. Much as we honor the 1983 World Series Ring, you don’t need to wear it every day of your life every place you go with every outfit you own.

How do you make yourself look good? Stand next to some shart with a worse haircut, a goofier mustache, and an equally bad wardrobe. Still and all, is that Tommy Bahama? For shame, Uncle Rick… For shame. Leave that in the closet until Buffett plays Pier 6.

Here’s a rare instance of the Dipper looking good. The ‘stache is trimmed down cleaner than usual and the hair is growing grey gracefully while being artfully disheveled. the coat is quality cut and well worn.

Unfortunately, he manages to blow it by letting his shirt collar sit on top of his coat collar. Saturday Night Fever much?

An Orange Turtleneck? And we caught you wearing a black turtleneck on Coffee With recently. A black turtleneck at 7 am in Spring??? Who the hell does that?!?! Maybe turtlenecks will be back in style the next time the O’s win a pennant, but they’re pretty ugly in this decade.

And this?!?! What the fuck is this?! Uncle Rick sings showtunes in the inner harbor amphitheater before a night out at the Baltimore Eagle and the Hippo? I guess if we’ve all got a favorite uncle, and we’ve all got a gay uncle, there’s bound to be some overlap.

Seriously though. It’s all in good fun. We’re going out to the game tonight, and when we head out to the bullpen area to nod to Uncle Rick, we hope against hope he’ll have caught on to Tom Ford, and finally be able to out-dress the rest of the broadcasting staff.

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The O’s play the Yankees at home tonight on MASN. The Chop will be sneaking into section 8, drinking heavily, and yelling “Go back to Jersey, Hon!” every chance we get.

Boycott Arizona! Our Bi-Weekly Political Roundup

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Once again we’ve made it to the fourth Wednesday of the month, and that means it’s once again time for the twice monthly meeting of the Baltimore chapter of Drinking Liberally at Joe Squared. We had a handful of new faces for tax day, which made for great discussion. If you haven’t made it out yet, come share a pitcher of Dogfish tonight at 7:00.

Baltimore Drinking Liberally meets tonight at Joe Squared. 7 pm.

There’s bound to be much talk tonight about Arizona’s new immigration law. For our part, the Chop thinks Arizona lawmakers are fucking racists and we’re outraged at what amounts to a system of apartheid in Arizona. We don’t say that lightly either. We do believe the law to be unconstitutional as well as morally reprehensible, and we’re all for boycotting the state of Arizona, including moving the 2011 MLB All-Star game out of the state. If baseball is serious about the tolerance and diversity they so celebrated on Jackie Robinson day, they have no choice. If the commissioner fails to act, we hope that Latino and Hispanic players throughout pro-ball at all levels will take it upon themselves to not play in Arizona. This law is worse than homophobic and anti-gay laws in California and elsewhere, because it represents not only a lack of progress, but actual regression.

There may also be some talk of the Goldman Sachs hearings. You’d think that when they have to bleep the news in congress it would be more interesting, but it’s pretty dull. The Masters of the Universe stole as much as they could as fast as they could. What else is new? We will say that we can’t fucking stand listening to Dylan Ratigan anymore. It’s got to the point where we turn off the TV as soon as he appears. He should can his manufactured outrage and take a cue from John Stewart, whose “These Fucking Guys” segments about Goldman are brilliant.

Of course, there’s no shortage of local interest with state campaigns kicking off left and right. Maryland politics are about to get a whole lot more absurd with the return of Bob Ehrlich. The Chop met Bobby Smooth once before he was governor, and when we questioned him on his congressional record in public he literally ran out the door without his change. Fucker. The Chop hereby openly challenges Bob Ehrlich to a bareknuckle boxing match inside the monkey house at the Baltimore zoo. Two men enter, one man leaves. We think we can take the fucker too. Won’t make a monkey out of us.

Seriously though, you should check out this excellent article about MD Republicans on our new favorite website (as of yesterday) Splicetoday.com. It makes the point that we’ve been trying to scream from the rooftops ever since our first 9th grade civics class…

“And more to the point, government is not designed to make a profit, as is business, but is intended to provide goods and services in return for the tax dollars it receives. Ideally, government should be a zero sum enterprise.”

Amen brother. We couldn’t have said it better. It’s time people quit pretending the sky is falling over red ink. It’s time we recognize GOP deficits dwarf Democratic deficits (which are usually of the inherited variety) and that federal tax cuts mean your dumb tea swilling ass pays less taxes now.

Which is what those assholes claim to want, right?