Arbouretum, Caltrop, Pilgrim @ Metro Gallery Tonight

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Well, it’s official. The Chop is definitely suffering from some sort of double reverse culture shock. Being cooped up in the sealed fuselages of germy planes for better than 24 hours has given us a terrible cold, right at the same time we actually need to be productive for the first time in 2 or 3 weeks. Yes, you would think that we would need to be productive while doing actual work, not screwing around online most of the day, but that’s where you’re wrong. The last 3 weeks or so have been pretty relaxed. Lots of waiting around, mostly, and not a lot of overtime, which is really the only part of the job that requires actual work anyway.

So we’ve had a lot of time to sit around in the desert and daydream about all the things we wanted to do upon arrival back home. Then there’s the whole other list of things we have to do, the giant stack of mail, dealing with the bank, chores around the house, fixing the car, sundry other personal business. Add to that the giant list of shopping we’re trying to knock out; new shoes, jeans, buying (and learning how to use) one of those new Blackberry Torch phones, food, restocking the bar… and furniture. Furniture is a lot of work. We just scored a sofabed, and are in the process of hunting up a dining room group, which of course will also necessitate finding paint, wallpaper, curtains, etc. It’s getting to be a task just to squeeze in recreation.

Arbouretum plays the Metro Gallery tonight with Caltrop and Pilgrim. 8 pm Doors.

Which is why we’re taking it down a notch tonight with Arbouretum at the Metro Gallery.

You may ask yourself, ‘But why go out at all? Why not just take it easy for a while?’ Well, because after last night, this is taking it easy. It’s the kind of show where you can cop a barstool, open a tab, and just sit back and enjoy some really good music. Plus there’s likely to be women there. And the plain truth is we just haven’t seen many of those in the last 3 months.

Why should you turn out tonight? Because you’ve got to show a little love, that’s why. Despite being objectively talented with an impressive musical resume and a comfortable spot in the Thrill Jockey stable, we feel like ever since its founding (8 years ago! Time flies!) Dave Heumann’s band has often fallen victim to what we like to refer to as “The Oranges Band Syndrome”, meaning that everyone likes them, but somehow they’re nobody’s favorite.

You may or may not agree, but one thing that’s undeniable is that they are indeed the perfect band for Fall. Arbouretum has never been the band you play loudly in the car when you can finally roll down the windows in April. They’re not that summer festival band you have to catch on the sidestage. They’re not even the band you put on the iPod to brace up and shovel out of 4 feet of snow. They’re a band for October. So wrap your scarf, pack your flask, don your cap, and get down to the Metro Gallery. We’ll see you there.

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Metro Gallery is at 1700 N. Charles in Station North. Doors at 8 pm. $8.

2004 All Over Again @ CCAS Tonight

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Well, it looks as though we’ve really lucked out this time. After coming home on Friday, we’ve had quite enough of bumming around the house and watching the rain. Look out Baltimore, the Chop is taking to the streets once again, and we couldn’t have come up with a better bill for our first show back in town than tonight’s lineup at the Charm City Art Space.

The new Art Space recently picked up a Best of Baltimore award for being Baltimore’s best all-ages venue from the Citypaper, who said “Do you even know what passes for punk these days for most of the 13-to-17 set? Trust us, it’s ghastly.” We agree with this statement wholeheartedly, which is why we’re urging you young choppers especially to get out and hear what straight-up no frills circle-pitting hardcore punk sounded like in the early part of the last decade.

Ruiner, Double Dagger, The Spark, Never Enough and Sacred Love play CCAS tonight. 7 pm doors.

Punks of a certain age may have also noticed that some local music has become a bit precious of late; a little too damn clever for its own good, in trying to make rock look like art it’s no longer loud enough, fast enough or dangerous enough to fit anywhere under the punk umbrella.

We’ve put so much focus on bands and labels that we’ve fooled ourselves into thinking that they matter. They don’t. It’s a community of kids who matter, and at tonight’s show you’re going to see singalongs and circle pits, and no one will notice or care who happens to be holding the mic. That’s how it should be.

In case you’re curious though, tonight the mic will be held by Ruiner in their penultimate show, 6 years to the day after their first show on the very same stage at CCAS. Having recently returned from Europe, they’ll play tonight before calling it a career at Sonar this weekend.

They’ll be supported by Double Dagger, about whom we’ve already written plenty and who are possibly the only band in Baltimore who can match Ruiner pound for pound for staying power and hardcore punk bona fides.

We’ve got to give them credit for lasting as long as they have. The Spark and Never Enough, who are both reuniting for tonight’s show have been on hiatus for some years now, fully enmeshed in the world of day jobs and marriages and mortgages. We’ve been griping about reunions in general a lot lately, but we’ve got to give a pass to both of these acts. 2004 was a pretty good year, after all. Neither band has ever made a dime and these reunions are about as far as you can get from phoning it in for a payday. (Another interesting bit of trivia: Ruiner played the final Spark show in 2006.)

It’s not all strolls down memory lane though, as Sacred Love is also on tonight’s bill. If you want to hear what Baltimore HC punk is going to sound like in the next decade, make sure you show up on time.

All told this is more fun than anyone ought to have on a Tuesday, and since it’s the Art Space, you’ll still get home in plenty of time to rest up for work tomorrow, Grandpa.

We Now Return to Our Regularly Scheduled Chopping

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And we’re back.

After 3 months of sweating our ass off in the deserts of Fujairah, Bahrain and Kuwait, the Chop is now officially unemployed once again! We’re back to living life the way God intended; Sleeping until noon, drinking coffee and goofing around online until evening, then switching to whiskey and painting the town.

Unfortunately, the real Bahrain is not so cute.

We’re looking to spend the next few days decompressing after all that, and after 36 hours of air travel. We’re also especially looking forward to updating our wardrobe for fall after wearing nothing but working clothes for 3 months, as well as making a tour of inspection of all the spots that have popped up since we left (looking at you, Johnny Rad’s and Bluegrass).

Good food and booze rate as high priority now, since we’ve had little other than canned and frozen veggies, bland salads and instant pancit noodles while we were gone. Liquor too can be pretty hard to find in the desert, especially during Ramadan, and we’re mighty thirsty. Don’t bother looking for pumpkin ale up at Wine Source from now on, since we’re going to be buying all of it tomorrow.

There’s really not too much to say about Arab countries. We don’t recommend going if you can help it. The most interesting part of the whole summer was the brief side trips we got to make to Djibouti and Diego Garcia, which we’ll talk a little about in separate posts later this week. If you’ll excuse us now though, there’s a bourbon and cider with our name on it.

The Chop Goes to the Middle East

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Well, Baltimore, we had a good Spring. We’ve had a lot of fun together over the last few months; going to shows, talking politics, watching baseball and barhopping. Sad to say though, not even the Chop can sleep until noon and screw around on the internet every day of our life. It’s time for us to go back into the great wide world of adventure. We’ll be leaving very, very early Tuesday morning.

Don’t worry Baltimore, we’ve gone away before, and come back with wonderful stories of exotic lands. The same applies now. We don’t expect we’ll be spending much time with easy access to the internet, so we’re going to put the blog on hiatus for a while. When we return, just as suddenly as we’re leaving, we’ll pick up right where we left off. Promise.

The last time we left we spent the coldest Winter ever in Northern Europe. This time we’re expecting the hottest of hot Summers in our travels around the Middle East.

If you just can’t go without your Chop fix this Summer, and want to hear someone anonymous describe life in the desert, we suggest you pick up a copy of the Thousand and One Nights, which we’ll be re-reading overseas, and which will serve as a daily reminder that while the lands of crescents and spires are indeed magical and enchanted, they’re also bloody, diabolical, and very, very hot.

The Chop is by turns a man of the world, and a man of leisure. Upon our return from a quest for fortune, we shall resume our quest for pleasure and enjoyment with a redoubled fervor. Of that you can rest assured.

Is it not just, that after so many troubles I should enjoy an agreeable and quiet life?”

-Sindbad the Sailor, from the Arabian Nights.

Fishing on the Chesapeake

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“Ah yes, here I am, far away from everyone
And the only fish I smell
Is on the deck of my boat.

I’ll steal some gas, fix my motor
Put on my Doors tape
And get you out of my head!”

If you’re looking for the Chop in town today, don’t bother. We chartered a boat and we’re spending the whole day on the bay with a dozen friends. We’re not coming ashore until we’ve drained 12 cans of High Life from the cooler and replaced it with a giant rockfish.

It’s the perfect way to spend our last Saturday at home before we go back overseas.