Why Brian Roberts Should Retire

Just in case you haven’t been following the Orioles closely this season, Brian Roberts has so far spent the entirety of it sitting in the dugout next to Buck Showalter, wearing his dumb beanie hat and chewing his stupid bubble gum and playing old hoss. Roberts finally reported for a rehab assignment to the Bowie […]

The Long Cold Winter Begins @ Camden Yards Today

Sigh. Sigh sigh eyeroll. We don’t feel like writing a post about the goddamned ball club. Mainly because we have nothing to say about them. There’s nothing to say about them. Even a constantly talking bloviating blowhard can sum it up in 140 characters. This is the kind of team that you can’t even talk […]

Opening Day 2011 @ Camden Yards Today

We hate to naysay. Oh wait… no we don’t. We do it all the time. Like right now when we say that the Orioles will not break 70 wins again this year. We’re not one of these fancy schmancy analytical sabermetric blogs, so we’ll just give it to you in a nutshell. Aside from having […]

The Orioles & Horseshit in Downtown Baltimore Tonight

You know you live in a fine town when you’re turning up your nose at the chance to see incredibly talented, nationally acclaimed bands from your city for no other reason than ‘meh.’ But that’s exactly what we’re up to. We skipped Sick Sick Birds and the other openers on the canceled Leatherface bill last […]

Rick Dempsey is the Worst-Dressed Man in Baltimore

Let’s get one thing straight… the Chop loves Rick Dempsey. Not like we love our Dad or Roommate, but more like we love our favorite uncle. You know that favorite uncle… he’s quick with a joke, kind as a saint, a little self-effacing, never wears out his welcome, and has some great stories to tell. […]