The Best Summer Flip Flops

Posted on by

We’re reluctant to admit that we may need to acquire a decent pair of flip flops.

Now, we do not recommend sandals of any type for the men of Baltimore. You’re a grown man in a major city after all, not a dirty hippie at Bonnaroo. The only time sandals become acceptable for general wear is when you’re in very close proximity to a body of water. The kind you can swim in; the harbor doesn’t count, but swimming pools do.

We don’t find ourselves by the pool often enough to warrant sandal ownership, but now that Spring has sprung we’re getting a lot more use from the outdoor living spaces here at the Chophouse. We could use a pair of sandals for lounging on the decks, taking out the trash, or even popping over to the corner store. We haven’t got anything that’s really good for just slipping on briefly, and as we’ve already discussed, socks are not optional for shoes. So we might need sandals, and the very best sandals are flip flops. Here are three options we like at Macy’s, which all look great and cost about $30.

Clarks 'Jays'

There’s two things we like a lot about these Clarks. Their simple design makes them suitable for everything from running out to move your car to wearing at a beach wedding, and the combination of leather and rubber fuse high style with maximum comfort. $35.

Lacoste 'Molietts'

For an alternative to leather, Lacoste’s Molliets are made of rubber without looking cheap. Anything with that little gator on it is going to come off a little preppy, but as long as you steer clear of Madras shorts or ribbon belts you ought to be able to stay Mobtown Official and Chop Approved. Available in 4 colors. $32.

Tommy Hilfiger 'Lloyd'

Only a few notches lower on the prep factor scale is Tommy Hilfiger, but we like the retro styling of their Lloyd flip flop. These also combine rubber and leather, and if we’re going to have to shell out for a pair of flip flops, we’d like them to last through at least several Summers of sun and wear. We think these will. $30.

Second Annual Pigment Opening @ Gallery 788 Tonight

Posted on by

We’re going back to Pigtown tonight. It’s been more than a year since we’ve gone to Pigtown for anything, and the last time we did it was for the first Pigment opening. It’s funny; we said then that Pigtown should hold more cool events to lure people from the rest of the city into the neighborhood once in a while, and here we are a year later having not been back once.

Last year’s Pigment opening was duly impressive. Gallery 788 had the walls overflowing with great work, and the floor overflowing (literally, people were spilling out onto the sidewalk) with some of Baltimore’s most creative and stylish people. Cans of Boh were flowing and records were spinning, and we even managed to score a framed drawing for a ridiculously cheap price which still holds a prominent place on our bookshelves.

We say show up early, because pieces are going to sell tonight. With a 6pm start time you’ve got four full hours to enjoy the art and the company, and figure out which of the eventual afterparties you’d like to get in on. There’s bound to be no shortage of celebrations, as today also happens to be Cinco de Mayo. Or you can do like us and eschew drinking holidays completely, and drink bourbon at home instead of tequila downtown.

___________________________________________________________________

Gallery 788 is at 788 Washington Blvd. in Pigtown.

The Ten Best Unpopular Highballs

Posted on by

It’s officially Spring in Baltimore. The good news is that Flowermart and Preakness are right around the corner. The bad news is that Spring also means household chores and Spring cleaning. There is a silver lining though, and it is that Spring cleaning also means cleaning out your home bar.

If you’re like us, you’ve been hoarding bottles the way squirrels hoard nuts during your winter hibernation. There’s no time like the present for streamlining your bar, and one of the easiest ways to do that is by mixing highballs.

Drinks in the back yard are often different from drinks at the bar.

First a clarification: Wikipedia tells us that the term highball originally referred to scotch and soda, but has grown to encompass almost any combination of liquor and soft drinks, mostly but not exclusively of the carbonated variety. A highball is usually what people refer to with the term “mixed drinks” as opposed to “cocktails” which are typically comprised mostly of liquor.

In bars and taverns, some particular highball combinations enjoy a longstanding popularity; Jack and Coke, Gin and tonic, Bourbon and ginger ale, Seven and Seven, etc. Those are all solid choices, but at home having too much, or not enough of one ingredient can lead to some unexpected choices. After all, the best part of home bartending is experimentation…

  • 10: Vodka and Flavored Seltzer. Take a trip up the soda/water aisle in the grocery store and you’ll find plenty of lightly flavored seltzers which aren’t stocked in bars and which are much cheaper than regular sodas. these are a perfect choice for Spring and Summer drinking.
  • 9: Jameson and Lemonade. This doesn’t sound so good on paper, but something about it just works. The combo of malt and citrus makes for a slightly organic taste, and of course, there’s a ton of sugar in there too. We once brought home a bottle Wasmund’s malt whisky, and the only way we could power through it was by adding lemonade.
  • 8: Vodka and Sweet Tea. Sometimes known as an Icepick, this is a drink that is best drunk at home, because no bar or restaurant we know of locally makes tea the right way: Sweet.
  • 7: Gin and Sprite. Most gin drinkers will reach for tonic every time, but we’ve got a sweet tooth. Sprite is the only thing we’ve found so far that makes us like gin enough to drink it throughout the evening.
  • 6: Vodka and Cran-Raspberry. This is actually our father’s drink of choice. Any bar can pour you a Cape Cod, but you’ve got to be at home to make it with cran-raspberry. And trust us, it’s much better that way.
  • 5: Dark Rum and Lemon Water. It’s hard to say what we mean by lemon water. It’s much more tart and lightly flavored than lemonade, and only slightly carbonated. Not quite water, not quite soda, you’ll know it when you see it. Whatever it is, the lightness and crispness of it is a perfect complement to the syrupy quality of a rum like Myers’s or our own favorite, the Kraken.
  • 4: Light Rum and Fruit Punch. Check your fridge, you might have a bottle of fruit punch hanging around back there. You know the kind we mean, mostly grape juice, some pear juice, a small fraction of other juices, and a palm tree on the label. make sure to use rum and not vodka to avoid unpleasant memories of “jungle juice.”
  • 3: Tequila and Snowballs. Most people who are from here don’t realize that snowballs are native regional fare for Baltimore. They also often don’t realize that they’re best enjoyed with liquor dumped all over them. There are a ton of winning flavor and liquor combinations, but you can’t go wrong with tequila and a key lime pie flavored snowball. Just be sure to skip the marshmallow topping.
  • 2: Bourbon and Apple Cider. Granted, this is more of a seasonal drink for the Fall, but it is good enough to drink year round. Plain old apple cider is such a great mixer, it’s surprising that more hoity-toity bartenders haven’t caught on to its use as a cocktail ingredient.
  • 1: Anything and Limeade. Limeade is pretty gross on its own, but it’s one of the most versatile mixers you can buy. Most of the types you find at the store are of pretty good quality too, since they’re not all artificial sweeteners and citric acid like most lemonades. Works with rums, tequila, gin, and just about every one of the 10,000 flavored vodkas out there. Best bet: Cherry vodka limeade.

There Goes the Neighborhood…

Posted on by

Hey, you all know by now that we’re pretty liberal. We’re all about Human Rights and respecting sovereignty and due process and all that jazz. But our country just shot Osama bin Laden in the face and you know what? We couldn’t be more pleased about it. Cause seriously, fuck that guy. He may have been a human being and all, but he was literally the worst person in the world. If he had a grave, we’d gladly dance on it. We’d piss on it. We’d dance in piss- even though that’s pretty gross. Yes, we’re laughing at dead-Laden, and we’re the good guys.

Because when you think about it, it’s quite funny. He was buried at sea which is funny in and of itself. It’s especially funny since he was not cremated first, so it’s entirely possible that he could turn up in a fishing net sometime, or wash up on the beach a la Weekend at Bernie’s. Osama might even get eaten by a shark. Imagine that… a shark chomping on bin Laden, with the turban getting stuck in its teeth. Hi-larious.

The funniest part though is that he was just chilling in the suburbs. It got us thinking… Who else is just hanging out in Suburbia?

Jimmy Hoffa

Jimmy Hoffa. When people think of mob-related activity and big time union bosses, they usually just assume everyone involved is Italian, but Hoffa’s people were actually Pennsylvania Dutch. When the shit hit the fan, old Jimmy probably just fucked off to Amish Country. It’s a little more believable than being buried under the end zone at Giants Stadium, isn’t it? No telephones, no electricity, no nothing. It’s the easiest place in the world to hide. Sure, he’d be 98 years old by now, but clean living agrees with a man. Brother Jimmy’s probably hanging out in Lancaster County, eating shoefly pie and raising barns yet.

DB Cooper

DB Cooper. DB Cooper was hijacking planes way back when bin Laden was a beardless pip in a madrasa somewhere. Cooper boarded a plane with a bomb at PDX in 1971 and received a $200,000 ransom before parachuting to the ground and evading detection for evermore. Cooper landed somewhere in the woods of the Pacific Northwest and hasn’t been seen since. While he never achieved the notoriety of Ronnie Biggs, we doubt he’s been living in a Unabomber-style shack for all these years. The man knew his airplanes, and we wouldn’t be at all surprised if he was hiding in the plainest sight of all with a second career as a TSA agent at Sea-Tac. After all, $200k isn’t much to retire on.

Elvis Presley

Elvis. Yes, Virginia, there is an Elvis Claus. Of Course Elvis is still alive. Of course he is. People see him all the time. The King has been sighted in every state in the union since his supposed “death” in 1977. The only possible explanation for this is that for whatever reason he turned into an RV enthusiast. We’re not saying that all those Elvis sightings are legit, but, you know, most of them probably are. Keep your eyes open next time you’re at a highway rest stop, a hokey campground or a NASCAR race. That crusty old loner with the sideburns just might be one true King of Rock and Roll.

The Chop is in the Loss Column

Posted on by

We wrote a blog post for you to read today, but you can’t read it here because it’s not on this site. Instead, it’s over The Loss Column.

The Loss Column and the Chop: two of your hometown heroes, together at last.

We’re very pleased to announce that this is the first in a series of occasional contributions we’ll make to The Loss Column as part or their brave new evolution.

Today’s post is all about seat-jumping at baseball games and its relationship to social mobility in American Life. Please take a moment to click over and check it out.