The Chop Talks a Little About Art Collecting

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We told you earlier this week about our New Year’s resolutions, but honestly, that was mostly all stuff we were resolved/planning to do anyway and New Year’s day was just a good excuse to blog about them.

The truth is that we resolve stuff all the time, and although the results are rarely immediate, these resolutions always come to bear eventually. As a case in point, two years ago, before we moved into this house, we determined that it would be well to begin a collection of original art. At the time, we had no space at all for hanging or storing art, but we knew that we’d have a house eventually, and we purposefully decided to reserve all of our wall space for original art.

We’re a grown up now, yes? So we’d be Goddamned if we were going to have posters and fliers and shit hanging all about the place. Likewise, we’re not going to go down to Target and pick up the same crummy Van Gogh prints that pass for tasteful among the tasteless, or to Bed Bath and Beyond for mass produced sconces, abstractions and bits of Americana. We’d rather stare at blank walls, thanks.

We’ve been living more than a year now with entirely blank walls throughout the Chophouse. Admittedly, for most of 2010 buying furniture took priority over art collecting, and we’ve still got to re-furnish the living room after roommate moves out, but all along we’ve been keeping our eyes open. We bought a small drawing at the Gallery 788 Show we blogged about back in April, but that sits on our bookshelves as opposed to hanging on the wall.

Recently though we found the above painting hanging in a show at Johnny Rad’s. It’s called Bunch O’ Houses, by Brett Burnham. You can see it for yourself, so we’re not going to get into all the reasons we like it and saw fit to buy it, but it definitely checks all the boxes for us in what we’re looking for towards building a collection. It looks outstanding hanging next to our wardrobe.

We’d also like to extend another Thank You to the waitress at Johnny Rad’s who had reserved this piece for herself, and kindly let us pay cash over her reservation. It was a very generous thing to do, and we appreciate it greatly.

2011 Theater Subscription Series’ in Baltimore

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Anyone who paid even a little bit of attention to print and online media during the Christmas season has surely by now heard the phrase “give the gift of theater.”

You can’t blame the thespians for trying to claim their share of the huge figgy pudding that is Christmas shopping receipts, especially with so many people now committed to shopping locally. A theater subscription does make a great gift if there’s someone on your list who you know is regularly seeing theater anyway, but it’s something we’re much more likely to buy for ourselves.

It got us to thinking that the new year is an excellent time to take a look around the local stage scene to see what’s playing, which subscriptions and memberships are available, and how much it will cost.


Centerstage
Centerstage offers very flexible memberships. Patrons can build their own custom package of tickets for four or more shows and become a member automatically. You get your choice of specific shows, dates, and seating sections, and with a membership you receive receive 25% off the total face value of your order. Prices run from $10-$60 per seat, meaning memberships start as low as $30. Highlights for 2011 include Second City Does Baltimore (on now), Snow Falling on Cedars, and Crime and Punishment.

Everyman Theater
The Everyman is currently offering subscriptions to the remaining 3 productions of their 2010/2011 season (Shooting Star, Stick Fly, and Pygmalion). They allow you to subscribe to a particular day of the week (Friday Nights, Thursday Previews, Sunday Matinees, etc) with prices ranging from $75 to $115 depending on the day. Subscriptions also come with a number of benefits, such as the waiving of service fees, ability to trade in tickets, and insurance against lost tickets.

Theater Project
For their 2010/2011 season Theater Project has chosen five shows, and lets the subscriber choose from one of eight of their other shows (including the annual High Zero Festival) for a six ticket subscription. Total cost is $80, with discounts for seniors and artists ($70) as well as students ($55). Unfortunately, there are only 2 shows left in the series, but one imagines 2011/2012 subscriptions will be similar in nature.

Single Carrot Theater
There are still three shows remaining in Single Carrot’s season for 2010/11 (The Other Shore, The Long Christmas Ride Home, and Linus and Alora). Pro-rated subscriptions are available for Thursdays-Sundays at a rate of $55 for adults, $40 for artists, seniors and students. If you really want to show the Carrots some love, and enjoy several extra benefits, you can avail yourself of a pro-rated membership for $99.

Mobtown Theater
Up at Clipper Mill, the Mobtown Players have four shows remaining in the current season (She Stoops to Conquer, The Last Days of Judas Iscariot, Epicoene, Welcome to the Good Life, Baby.) Their website does not offer any subscription information, but adult tickets are available for $15 at brownpapertickets.com.

Audrey Herman Spotlighters
The Spotlighters are running a long season this year, with six productions remaining stretching all the way to August. They’re currently offering a choice of two subscriptions; a ten-ticket ultra flexible family pack for $135, or a pick-5 subscription at $72. Highlights this year are A Streetcar Named Desire, Approaching Zanzibar, and The Great American Trailer Park Musical.

Strand Theater
The Strand’s season subscription offers excellent value, consisting of five shows for $45. Unfortunately the only two shows remaining this year are The Year of Magical Thinking and One Flea Spare. Individual tickets for those productions can be had for $15 apiece.

Fell’s Point Corner Theater
FPCT has scheduled five productions between now and June with highlights including Reasons to be Pretty and their 10×10 short plays series. Their site hints at discounts and benefits for subscribers, but their actual subscriptions page seems to be currently under construction. We’d suggest using the contact form on their site for more information.

Vagabond Players
Currently in the run of their 95th season, Vagabond Players is offering a 3-play mini-subscription choice among their four remaining productions. Patrons can choose three from Six Dance Lessons in Six Weeks, Death of a Salesman, Six Degrees of Separation, and Abducting Diana for just $30.

We say shop around now and find a subscription that suits you, or just pick up a few sets of single-show tickets if you want to mix and match. Some of these theaters are downright diminutive, and they all continue to enjoy growing popularity and subscriber bases. Make it your new year’s resolution to buy theater tickets now, before they’re sold out, and you won’t end up watching some tripe starring Michael Cera or Emma Stone on date night this spring.

Lower Dens @ Kennedy Center Millenium Stage Today

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We’re going to go ahead and call it right now: 2011 will be the year of Lower Dens.

Remember how Future Islands picked up 2010 by the throat and choke-slammed it? We think that’s exactly what Lower Dens is about to do to 2011. After spending last year releasing their well-received Twin Hand Movement and touring extensively in the US, UK and Europe, They’ve sown seeds which are bound to bear fruit in 2011. (And we know that’s a mixed metaphor, but what do we look like, a farmer or something?) Along with a spring release from Arbouretum and up-and-comers Secret Mountains, we think 2011 will finally be the year that people start describing slow, full pop as “The Baltimore Sound,” and we think Lower Dens will be at the forefront of it.

Lower Dens plays the Kennedy Center Today. 6 pm.

(It’s also worth noting that we’re not saying this just to say it, or just to be nice. We mention those three bands on purpose because we like them. There’s no shortage of other acts in Baltimore right now playing similar music who we don’t mention, because they’re, ermm, not as good as those three. This is our opinion.)

While you go to work at your job today, we’re going to take the day to walk around DC, maybe visit the National Portrait Gallery, and then head over to the Kennedy Center to see Lower Dens play a free show on the Millenium Stage at 6 pm. If you’re not as fortunate as we are to be able to go to shows at 6 pm on a Monday, you can still check out the set via the live webcast link on the Kennedy Center site.

Being that early will even leave us time for dinner and drinks on U Street before we had back. Let’s just hope DC people don’t do like we do and close every damn small business in the city on Mondays, just cause they’d rather pull a Garfield and stay home eating lasagna.

How to Wear Sunglasses

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Okay, Baltimore. Friday night was New Year’s Eve. Saturday night was, well, Saturday night, yes? Time marches on and all of that. If you’re anything like us, your bar or beer fridge is down a few bottles, your liver is running only by sheer inertia, and your head is significantly poundier.

Whether you’re making a walk of shame, creeping out to brunch, or heading out to watch football, if you’ve got the grave misfortune of having to leave the house on a Sunday, especially a Sunday like today, you’re going to need sunglasses.

Aside from their hangover-shielding properties, sunglasses are especially crucial to Baltimore fashion because as anyone who’s lived here more than a week knows, you never look a motherfucker in the eye on the street. Nothing personal, it’s just not something we do.

Funny thing about sunglasses though; get it right, and you’ll draw a lot of looks. Get it wrong, and you’ll draw a lot of stares.

CORRECT:

David Byrne

Sure, they’re big. But they’re not too big. Sure they’re dark. But they’re not too dark. As long as the rest of your outfit is understated, these will always work.

CORRECT:

Frank Sinatra

When most people think of Sinatra, they think of suits and hats. There’s a lot of sun and swimming pools in Las Vegas though, and you don’t wear 3 pieces of wool poolside in July.

CORRECT:

Paul Newman

Find a bad photo of Paul Newman. Go ahead and try… we’ll wait.

INCORRECT:

Bono

It’s almost as if Bono made a conscious effort to become a total douchebag, then made a deliberate search to find the perfect douchebag accessory and make it his personal trademark. Well done, Bono. Truly well done. Those shades look very pretty with your precious little earrings and your black on black on black silk ensemble.

INCORRECT:

Michael Phelps

This look is bad enough to make Dolce & Gabbana turn straight. On the other hand, this is the perfect style to rock when you’re rolling up York Road in an Expedition with McDonald’s wrappers all over the floor, Young Jeezy blasting out the window, and an underage entourage drinking Coors Light in the backseat.

INCORRECT:

Luke Scott

For the record, the Chop is a Luke Scott hater from way back. Even before the recent birther nonsense we’ve been hating on his slumpiness at the plate and his dumpiness in the outfield, his penchant for praying in public and most of all, his sunglasses.

The Chop’s 2011 New Year’s Resolutions

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That’s right Baltimore… we’ve got resolutions.

If you knew the Chop in real life, you’d know that we’re the type that damn well does what we say we’re going to do. One day we woke up at random after 13 or 14 years and said “Gonna quit smoking this month.” Next month will mark 3 years without a cigarette. Another time we said “Okay… gonna read War and Peace this month.” Did that too, and enjoyed it. In the middle of the very worst of the financial crisis we said “Welp, let’s take our credit score from ZERO to over 700 so we can get a mortgage.” No mean feat, but we did that too.

So when we say we’re going to do a thing, the thing will get done.

A visual approximation of the Chop's inner resolve.

Which brings us to 2011. There are a few things we want to do. None of it earth-shattering, mind you. None of it will have a great radical impact or change our life drastically. All of these things will be gradual improvements though. We’ll do them, and on new year’s 2012 we’ll be slightly better off than we are today. That’s the whole idea.

1. Pay more (some) attention to finances. Back in the day we used to hate to count money. Mostly because when we did there was never enough of it. Now we still kind of hate it, but thankfully we never have to do it very often because there is enough of it. We set all our bills to autopay, use the debit card, and stick to our ever-so-humble lifestyle and we’re pretty much okay. No more. Not saying we’re going to make a budget and stick to it or put a certain amount in savings. We’re just resolved to quit guessing what our balance is.

2. Ease up on the booze, just a little. Shocking, right? This is not to say that we’re getting on the wagon or anything, but Jesus… we could stand to lighten up a little. Maybe take a few weeknights off. Drink more wine and less whiskey at home. No more ‘one for the road’. Get Guinness instead of Dogfish Head when we’re out in town. That kind of thing.

3. Do something healthy. Like we mentioned the other day, this will probably mean buying a bicycle. It might mean joining the YMCA. It’s doubtful we’ll ever be the type that goes jogging or anything, but we’re going to have to figure out something. Not getting any younger, you know.

4. Join some sort of organized activity. Maybe a book club. Maybe a softball team. Maybe sailing lessons. Whatever it is, we’d like to get involved with some kind of structured, regular thing. It would be nice to do something we enjoy and be able to meet new people who also enjoy it, and who aren’t boring married people or bar drunks.

5. Do something with the gardens. We’ve got small garden areas in the front and back of the Chophouse. They’re very nice, but when we bought the place they were covered in plastic with a little mulch on top. The rear is mostly just a giant dog-toilet, and the front is given over to dead weeds. We travel far too much to tend a real, legitimate garden, but when we come home in the spring we’re resolved to at least get those tarps up, de-weed as best we can, and throw some fresh mulch down. Maybe we can find some perennials that are low maintenance for the front. One thing at a time.

6. Buy 2 new suits, and re-fit and alter the old ones. The Chop has no call to wear a suit to work, so that’s one part of our wardrobe that gets neglected regularly. Between a trip to the Kentucky Derby and Bourbon trail, and an out- of town wedding in May, we’re going to have call to dress well for most of that month. 2011 Will be the right time for us get properly measured and fitted, suited and booted to last several years.

All this we resolve. So it is written, so it shall be. Come back next year and see if we haven’t done all of it. You can feel free to shamelessly steal any or all of these for yourself, or let us know what you’re resolved to do in the comments.