Yeah Baltimore, we know how it is. A lot of you like to drape that jacket over the back of your chair as soon as you get into the office. Still more of you have one old standby jacket (possibly handed down from dear old Dad) that doesn’t fit well and that you only break out for weddings, funerals and court appearances. We know that most of you would rather wear a Yankees jersey than be forced into a sport coat on the weekend, but hear us out on this one.
Done right, a jacket can be paired with a wide array of casual clothing, and the rest of your outfit can determine how ‘dressed-up’ or ‘dressed-down’ you are overall. It should also be comfortable. If it’s not, you’re in the wrong jacket.
Martin Amis elegantly displays casual style on a London rooftop. 1980
Blazers are highly functional. It’s not summer yet. Instead of grabbing an outdoor jacket and then being stuck wearing it in the bar all night or being forced to carry it around and hang it on odd objects (because no one seems to have coat racks anymore) why not don a sport coat instead? It’ll keep the spring chill off your back and take you from a walk in Patterson Park to a table at Annabelle Lee in style. Plus you get half a dozen extra pockets. Who doesn’t want that?
Women will take notice. You’ve been slacking off with the gym routine, but a well cut, properly fitting jacket will keep your secrets. Proper tailoring can give you a little broader shoulder and a little leaner waist. Not really, but it’s all about subtle impressions. The Chop knows from experience that women look long at a guy in a jacket. Who’s more date-able? The boy in his favorite worn out band tee shirt or the man in the casual blazer.
A jacket will open doors for you. Remember the last time you were walking up Charles Street and you really really had to pee and all you heard was “Sorry. The restroom is for customers only.” Well, a blazer might have gotten you in there. It can also result in a round on the house, airline or hotel upgrades, and certain persons keeping mum when liberties are taken. If you want to be money, you’ve got to look money.
Wearing a jacket will keep you out of trouble. Know how you’re prone to yell at people in traffic, commit random larcenies and tell Red Sox fans to go screw? Well, you remember yourself a little better in a blazer. Dressing like a man tends to encourage acting like a man. Funny how that works.
It’s a rule. Of course, we’ll all be a bit rakish from time to time, no matter how finely cut the clothes. As the outstanding blog 1001 Rules For My Unborn Son recently quoted “Dissolute behavior in a coat and tie is always more amply forgiven.” Next time you (un)knowingly make a pass at her while her husband is across the bar, make sure you’re wearing a hell of a nice jacket.
If Charlie Watts can drum in a blazer, you can drink in one.
To clarify: we know the terms ‘sport coat’ and ‘blazer’ are not interchangeable, although for the purposes of this post they are. If you need further guidance Esquire’s fashion editor Nick Sullivan will sort out the issue for you. There are also a wide range of opinions online about what jackets work where and for whom. We’re not even getting into that. Good luck.