Carlos Danger: Our Bi-Weekly Political Roundup

We don’t believe a whole hell of a lot of the bible. Noah’s Flood and Moses floating down a river and God raining down plagues on Pharaoh… they all strain credulity more than a little. That being said, those stories aren’t in there for no reason. They’re there because they are valuable teaching tools with universal lessons about humanity that are as true today as they were 6000 years ago.

Take the forbidden fruit, for example. If you want to live in the garden, you can run wild and do whatever you please, except eat from that one particular goddamn tree. Likewise if you want to be a politician, you can do anything you want except cheat on your wife!

Now in the case of Anthony Weiner you may say that a few pics and some text messages aren’t “cheating” but go look at the source material here and here and tell us you wouldn’t call it cheating if your husband did it.


This girl is 22 and she said she was dying to meet him and he says he’ll buy her a condo in Chicago and get her a job at Politico and this is all after the resignation? Get the fuck out of here. We don’t care how long and stupidly Huma Abedin wants to stand by her man. He’s an idiot and not fit for public service of any kind.

Now, if she had left him and he was running for mayor, it might be slightly less bad. (Nobody ever gave a shit what Gavin Newsom did because he was never married.) If Weiner had stayed married and gone off to get a job as a lawyer or something nobody would care who he sexted or what he promised.

But he can’t get it through his thick fucking head that you can’t have the garden and the fruit. It just doesn’t work that way. Especially in our party. One of the reasons the Chop is proud to be a Democrat is that we’re not afraid to throw people right under the bus when they fuck up. And that’s the way it should be. We don’t have any Vitters or Ensigns or Sanfords in our party (at least not in the post-Clinton era) and it would be nice to keep it that way. Weiner should get out of this race right now and let the jizz fall where it may.

Ironically (and thankfully) Weiner may have completely ruined Eliot Spitzer’s career the same way Ryan Braun is ending A-Rod’s, and quite a few others. We get a feeling NYC Dems are going to say ‘Hey Raw Dog, Weiner hasn’t changed a bit and we don’t know if you have or not but we’re just not gonna chance it. Smell you later.”

Speaking of Braun and company they’re another good example of the forbidden fruit. MLB Players can do pretty much whatever the fuck they want in life. If they want to go play outside Organized Baseball they can even load up on as many steroids and HGH as they want. But you can’t cheat in the MLB. The League doesn’t accept it, the Fans Don’t accept it, and going by the HOF voting the Writers definitely don’t accept it. We’re glad that baseball has cracked down as much as they have, but it’s clear that more needs to be done. A lot more.

But the Hebrew Hammer is making ol’ Raffy and his index finger look not so bad, we’ll give him that.

If you want to come out tonight and make a bunch of Weiner jokes the Baltimore Chapter of Drinking Liberally will be meeting at Liam Flynn’s Ale House at 8 pm. Admission is free and open to liberals and progressives of all stripes. for more information.